Into the mind of Halley Power

Anyone still here?

2008-06-03T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well, I've totally neglected this blog. I've been posting a little more regularly on my livejournal, but I decided it was about dadgum time to update this thing. It's been over half a year, so there's plenty to catch up on.

First of all, I no longer have the job mentioned in the previous post. It shut down and I was very sad. But now I clean toilets and everything else at Wesley. It's not the most glamorous job, but I can work whenever I want. Besides, I spend a large portion of my week there, I might as well do something productive and clean it up.

I recently finished my first senior year at Auburn! I only have one more semester of classes, then I'll intern in the spring. Still have to figure out the whole interning thing. I won't be doing marching band any longer. It was wonderful, but four years was enough. Even if I wanted to, I'm taking 18 hours and have class during band time. I'm looking forward the following: sleeping late on a Saturday, having the choice of attending games, wearing a t-shirt when it's 90 degrees instead of a 10 layer uniform, seeing the eagle fly for the 1st time, and funnel cakes/dippin dots.

After school ended, I went to the Yucatan for nine days. It was incredible.
I just copied and pasted my latest post from livejournal just to kind of encompass my most recent craziness in the Jesus area.
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Mexico was amazing. We built a house, worked on a church, and hung out with some totally awesome kids. It was very humbling. Every American should travel and experience life in another culture at some point. We're spoiled and unappreciative. It definitely changes your perspective on things.

I'll be leaving for camp tomorrow. Training was last week, and I think it went well overall. During vespers, Bob (new director) said something that really hit me hard. He talked about making the transition from "who am I" to "here am I." Wow. When I first changed my plans from nursing to ministry, I was scared. But I was excited. It finally felt right, and I had never been so certain about anything. Well, the initial excitement of such a big decision has worn off. Over the past year, I've found myself asking God if He's sure about this. I KNOW that everyone in any type of ministry position should ask "who am I". But for me, it goes beyond trying to be humble. I feel totally inadequate. I'm not great with people. And instead of making improvements as I get older, it seems like I become more terrified and paranoid each day. I get so caught up in the thought that I'm not good enough. How am I supposed to do this for the rest of my life?

After thinking about what Bob said, I've decided that it just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I don't have the best social skills. It doesn't matter if I'm not the best public speaker. It doesn't matter if I have no clue as to exactly what type of ministry God is calling me to. What I do know is that I've been called. I won't lie, I'm not always happy about it. But that's okay. While "who am I" should always be a question that I ask, I think I definitely need to focus more on "here am I".

Last night we were singing Amazing Grace at worship in the founders chapel at AUMC. We got to the line, "we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we'd first begun". And for the first time in a long time, I was content with that. I've been burnt out, and the thought of a full time career in the ministry has been more of a let down recently than something to look forward to. I'm just so annoyed with what we've turned Christianity into. It drives me crazy. My trip to the Yucatan came at the perfect time. People there loved Jesus...and it was raw. Just raw passion. It makes me excited again.

Wow, I said I was going to try to keep it short. Actually, it's still pretty short considering all that I could have written. So consider yourself lucky. In other news...

I'm seriously looking into the peace corps. I never realized exactly what it was before yesterday, and it rocks.
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LIke I said, I'll be leaving for camp today. So if you get bored or you just feel like totally making my day, you can send me mail!

Halley Power
Camp Sumatanga Lodge
3616 Sumatanga Road
Gallant, AL 35972

I'll really try to better about updating. Until next time, peace out.

Update

2007-11-09T21:44:00.000-06:00

So...I got a job. I start Tuesday at the Caramel Apple Gift Company. I'll probably gain twenty pounds within the first week, but that's okay...because I have a job.

Halloween was pretty fun this year. I was proud of my make-shift costumes. I went to the band party as a nudist on strike. So, basically I wore the same clothes I had been wearing all day and carried around a sign that said "on strike". On Halloween, I put a little more effort into my costume. Only a little- but I thought it was pretty funny. Can you guess what I am?

In case you belong to the large majority of the human race and don't get it, I'm a ceiling fan.

I carved quite a few personalized pumpkins this year. If anyone is still interested in buying one, please let me know. It's past Halloween, but these pumpkins are actually artificial so you can get them whenever and use them for many Halloweens/Thanksgivings to come. Or you can be like Meagan and just use it as a lamp. :o)

It's been fun. Oh, one more thing. I got a letter from Nelson the other day. It was adorable. I've gotten about three or four letters from him so far, but this was the first time he wrote a sentence by himself. He'll be nine next month, but the grade equivalence in Uganda is 1st grade here. He wrote, "I love you along with my parents." It's just so neat to see it in his handwriting. The rest of the letter goes on to say that it's cold and rainy over there, he's improving at school, and has been playing football and learning mathematics. He enjoys singing to God and has discovered that God loves children so much. He has also learned that it is good and necessary to love God with all your heart and all your mind. The letter ended with two things. 1)He hopes to see my physically, and 2)He will be praying for my studies and future. Wow. It blows my mind that he's praying for me. Hopefully one day I will be able to go see him. That would pretty much make my life.

God is good. Just had to say that after this week.

*PS: I just added the links to 5 new photo albums. Enjoy.

Until next time, peace.

Hello.

2007-10-08T19:43:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm still alive. Sorry I've been neglecting the blogging community. Not sure if anyone actually checks this anymore...oh well. I post on livejournal a little more frequently. You're welcome to check it out if you want. Here ya go.

Life in my world has been pretty crazy lately. And random. So I'll just start blabbing.

The semester is more than half-way through. I don't really have the motivation that I should, I'm just tired of it. I suppose I can keep going through the motions until Christmas. I'm taking 17 hours right now, and if I want to graduate next spring (09) I'll have to take 18 hours the next two semesters, followed by an internship. Changing my major at the end of my junior year put me a little behind...okay, a lot behind. But I don't regret it.

Wesley's going well. I'm a freshmen leader this year, and a member of the worship band. It's been challenging, but I think God's using it as preparation. Wednesday starts a new 6 week session of Bible studies, and I'll be leading one of them. Honestly, I'm freaking out a little bit. Prayers are appreciated.

I really like fruit. A lot. And Swedish fish candy.
(Told you this would be random)

I'm going to Africa. I don't know how or when, but I'm going.

Halloween's coming up soon, so I'm trying to decide what kind of pumpkin I'm going to carve this year. So far, I've done Napolean Dynamite and Steve Irwin (see previous posts). Any ideas for this year?

I think that's enough randomness for now. Peace.

The Aftermath

2007-07-06T12:46:00.000-05:00

The official Displace Me video is finished! (see previous post for Displace Me info)

Man, that was such an awesome experience.

I suppose I'll give a quick update as long as I'm enjoying internet access during my week off. Camp is halfway done. Weeks 1-3 were great overall. We definitely had a few stressful occurances, but we've pushed through and made it a positive experience. I'm ready to head back up there...I've had my break, slept late for a couple days...I'm starting to go through withdrawals.

It's pretty funny...the part I was dreading the most about being on staff is actually one of my very favorite aspects of the job. During the counselor meeting at night, the staff walks the halls. This means dealing with all the homesick campers. I was not looking forward to this in the least bit. But it's really been a blessing. There's something really great about walking into a room with a crying kid and saying goodnight a few minutes later to a smiling kid. I love it.

The Chrysalis flight last weekend was totally awesome. I went straight there from camp Friday night so I was pretty tired, but I was definitely blessed by being there. Patty and I led music...before I got there she was the table of Lujah....we then became Halle(y)lujah!

We had a blast. Speaking of Chrysalis, I'm about to head back up there to work the boys' flight/journey. I'll be heading back to camp bright and early in the morning. I'm looking forward to my birthday Wednesday- camp birthdays are awesome.

Oh yeah, camp pictures and some Chrysalis pictures have been posted over there
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Alrighty, then. Peace.

REALLY Overdue Update

2007-06-02T19:26:00.000-05:00

Well, I made it back safely from Jamaica. It was incredible...detailed post about the trip coming soon.

There's so much that's been going on lately. I'll do my best to summarize the last couple of months to get you up to date.

On April 28th, I attended an event called Displace Me, hosted by Invisible Children. (see a couple posts down for more info) Basically, 67,871 people across the country total were displaced for one night in 15 major cities across the United States to simulate the 1.5 million people displaced in Northern Uganda for the past 10 years. The closest city to Auburn was Atlanta, so two of my friends met at Wesley early that morning and headed that way. However, we did make a pit stop at a hardware store to go dumpster diving for our home. 3,477 people were displaced in Atlanta that night. We spent about an hour filming (as did the other 14 cities) so IC can put together a video to send to the House and Senate. I'll post the video as soon as it's done. We also wrote letters to senators, had the privilege of listening to a speaker named Reverend Vincent from Northern Uganda, and had to ration food- we had one bottle of water and a sleeve of saltine crackers. I didn't sleep at all...I'm not sure if I've ever been so cold and uncomfortable. But it really put things into perspective. Very awesome experience.

For more pictures, click here. Also, you can go to the Invisible Children Displace Me page to get more info or stay updated on the impact it's making.

Let's see...I went to visit Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky about two weeks ago. Nolan and Susanna were gracious enough to let me crash with them for a few days. We definitely had lots of fun jowling and cheeking. I was so honored to finally jowl with the folks who introduced me to it in the first place. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, check out the "Jesus jowled" album to the right. Cheeking picture is below. I'm not sure if I've ever laughed so hard. The campus was absolutely beautiful. I had very high expectations going into the trip. Everyone has told me about how incredible it is, mainly the sense of community. The experience exceeded my expectations by a long shot. I felt so at home. It's the first divinity school I've visited, so I'm keeping my options open. I'll probably visit Candler (Emory), Duke, maybe Vandy. But I could definitely see myself at Asbury.

On the way home from Wilmore, I took a detour in Woodstock, GA and crashed with my former youth directors. They love me so much they even got me to come back the next weekend. (If I'm there, the kids wake ME up at the crack of dawn to play instead of their parents. I know their secret motives.) Nah, I always have a blast going up there. They're the bomb diggity.

For more Asbury pics/other misc. summer fun, go here.

Whew, this post is getting really long. Maybe I should update more often. My bad! Now, onto current endeavors. I've spent the last week at Sumatanga training for this summer. I'll be on elementary staff (4th-6th graders) leading crafts and the afternoon hike. I'm super excited. I'll be heading back up there Tuesday to move in. I think it's really going to be great summer. If you really want to make my day, you can write me a letter! It's the best feeling in the world.

Halley Power
Camp Sumatanga Lodge
3616 Sumatanga Rd
Gallant, AL 35972

Basically, I'll love you forever. I'll try to update periodically, but you know how that goes. Oh yeah, I'll be doing music on the next girls' Chrysalis flight (Central Alabama) so hopefully I'll see some of you there. I won't be able to be there until Friday night, but I'll get to stay until closing since we have the week of the fourth of July off. Glad it worked out that way.

Besides the picture links above, I've also posted a few new albums including Jamaica pics over there ---->
Thanks for reading. Peace out.

Jamaica, mon!

2007-03-23T11:25:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving for Jamaica in approximately 15 hours. Woo hoo! I haven't started packing...I still need to go shopping...this is going to be a long day. We're leaving at 3 a.m. Saturday morning. We found out yesterday that there was a mix up with the camp we were supposed to be staying out. So, as of now we don't know exactly where we're staying/eating/showering. Fun! Actually I'm kind of glad. It's exciting.

Please pray for the entire Wesley mission team (about 30 folks). We will be doing construction/painting/physical labor, etc. as well as children and youth programs. We are partnering with a cool guy named Rev. Joseph that's in charge of 6 local churches in Trelawney to help orchestrate a Palm Sunday service also.
I'm both nervous and excited. I know God's going to do amazing things there and I will be sure to fill you in when I return. In the mean time, stay safe and God bless.

On a lighter note

2007-02-15T14:53:00.000-06:00

Sorry that last post was rather depressing. Here's a little something to brighten your day.

I like hugs. They're pretty much my favorite thing ever. I saw the original Free Hugs Campaign video on youtube a few months ago. If you haven't seen it, go watch it- it's incredible. So, Ross decided to do his own free hug campaign at Auburn. Check it out. I helped film it...and you can see me jump in near the end for a group hug. :o)

We had a lot of fun. So, the Auburn Wesley Foundation is sending teams to Jamaica and Liberia for mission work this spring break and summer. As one of our fundraisers, we sold singing valentines. A person pays ten bucks and a small group of us go to the recipient's home, work, class, wherever to sing them a song and give them a rose and message. It was quite an experience. Tuesday I got to deliver one to a guy in class. That was kind of awkward...everyone just kind of looked at us. But yesterday was the real treat. We had to deliver two singing valentines to two different assisted living centers. We ended up putting on a concert at one of the places. I think I enjoyed it more than the old folks did. It was a blast. Here's a pic of me and Jerel at Camellia Place- don't you love the vest?

I think Jerel summed it up perfectly after we finished. "If my heart had a mouth, it would be smiling."

Here goes nothing.

2007-02-13T00:05:00.000-06:00

I've been sitting here staring at the computer screen trying to figure out how to start this post. I like everything I write to sound eloquent...but I could really care less right now. So I'm just going to type and see what happens. Some of this might sound a little familiar from previous posts...sorry. I've been doing a lot of self analyzing lately, so just bear with me.

I consider myself a fairly introverted person. I've always been pretty shy. I can be really crazy and outgoing too, it just depends on my environment and the people I'm around. Overall, I tend to be a loner. I'm used to doing things by myself. Whether it's going to a movie or sitting in my apartment, I'm usually doing it alone. And for the most part, I'm cool with that. Most of my very memorable "God times" have been during a long solo drive to/from Chrysalis and Emmaus, camp, etc. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. I'm comfortable alone because it's what I'm used to. But I can't help but realizing over and over again that my happiness relies on other people.

VERY few people really know me, I could count them on one hand. I have a ton of "friends" thanks to band, Wesley Foundation, camp, and Chrysalis. I've made friendships that will last a lifetime. But even people I consider to be my closest friends probably couldn't tell you more about me than the usual facebook info. It's my own fault so I have no right to complain about it. I just don't open up to people. The two or three people that I consider to honestly know me would tell you that in order to find out information, you have to literally ask me direct questions and drag it out. I guess that's for a lot of reasons. I really don't see myself as having good social skills. First of all, I'm almost to the point of being paranoid. I automatically assume I annoy people. Also, I'm very analytical. I don't let things roll off my back. It doesn't have to be anything big. Someone can say something that in no way was meant to be or sound offensive. But I replay it in my head over and over and over until I become convinced that person can't stand me anymore. I was trying to figure out why I do that, and I think I came up with a little something. Unconditional love is one of the things I have the hardest time comprehending. I know none of us can truly comprehend the full magnitude of God's unconditional love, it's incredible. But even though I know it's true, I still struggle with it. I've experienced conditional love from a relationship that is meant to reflect unconditional love. We like to think that a love that a father has for his child can't be broken...and I don't think it should. But that's just the way it's been for me. I think I associate that conditionalness with everyone. If my own father thinks he can no longer love me because of something I did or didn't do, how can I expect "normal people" to be any different? I know that's not fair. So many people have supported my through thick and thin and I feel like I'm not giving them enough credit.

Another reason I don't open up to people is because I feel it's not worth it sometimes. Every time I decide to just go for it, something happens and I lose that person. Whether by moving away, death, their own choice, or drama that we won't go into right now, something always happens that prevents them from being in my life anymore. However, God has always provided. It seems like as one person leaves, another enters. You've heard it before...when one door closes, another door opens. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that it's all been for a reason. I could go on and on about the amazing things God has done through everything that's happened. But even though I know God has always been and will always be faithful, it still hurts. I constantly tell myself that I'm just done. Why bother opening myself up to someone just to have it ripped away? Above all else, I'm being called to love. And loving people makes you vulnerable.

Sorry this post is so long. I'm really not trying to complain, there's been on my mind lately. I took a risk and thought I made a great friend but it just came back to bite me in the butt...again. It takes quite a bit for me to open up to someone, but when I do it happens fast. I got my hopes up. A lot. But I won't get started on that. Overall, I'm lonely. I've become very frustrated with myself because I feel like I'm telling God that He's not enough for me. I don't want to rely on other people to establish my joy. I've got everything I need in Him. I know that. I just don't feel it right now. I know support and accountability are critical in a close relationship with Christ. He calls us to community. But I'm trying to get to the point that I can be content with simply resting in the fact that I'm a child of God. Circumstances are irrelevent when faced with the truth of who He is and who I am in Him.

I'm just trying to get all this out in the open. I've avoided it for too long. There are lots of things I know I need to work on so I'm laying it all on the table. When thinking about going into the ministry, the whole people skills thing is one of the things I worry about the most. Cause people are kind of a big priority in the whole ministry thing. Yeah. I'm excited about what God's doing in my life right now. Even though I'm having a hard time, I'm looking forward to what's in store. Thanks for listening. Once again, sorry it's so long.

Peace.

Meet Nelson

2007-02-06T13:34:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the flash.

Don't you love that smile? Nelson is eight years old and lives in Uganda. I'm sponsoring him through Compassion International and I'm sooooo excited about getting to know him. I've been learning a lot about Uganda lately and I really want to get involved.

Uganda is estimated to have a population of about 25-30 million. The extreme mortality of AIDS has had an effect on this figure, which would otherwise be higher. As another consequence of AIDS, healthy life expectancy in Uganda is only around 50 years. 25,000 CHILDREN tested positive for HIV in 2006 alone.

Another major problem is the war. Tens of thousands of civilians have been mutilated or killed by the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) in Northern Uganda for 20 years. Since 1986, the leader of the LRA, Joseph Kony, has abducted and brainwashed more than 20,000 boys and girls to fight as child soldiers in his militia, with roughly 12,000 abductions occurring since 2002. If you'd like to learn more about what's going on, visit Invisible Children. You can also watch the documentary that started the IC movement here.

Please continue to be in prayer for Nelson and the entire situation in Uganda.

Challenges for Advent

2006-12-14T20:42:00.000-06:00

Howdy, long time no blog! I figured I should probably update since I've had people call to make sure I was still alive and well. Here's a shout-out to the Thebos. :o) Well, Christmas is coming up in a couple weeks, and I've really tried to observe the whole Advent season this year. Here are a few things I'm trying to challenge myself with, and maybe it'll help you out too.

1. Remember the reason for the season.
It's sooo easy to get caught up in the commercialism of Christmas. There are so many things to worry about. Decorations, the presents, the FOOD, traveling, Santa, etc....the list could go on and on. While the Christmas spirit is a wonderful thing, it can sometimes be a distraction in itself. Just relax and remember why we're celebrating in the first place.

2. Don't forget the cross.
Obviously, the focus of Christmas is the birth of Christ. However, we often want to center in on the beautiful nativity story and discard the rest. The peaceful image of the baby Jesus lying in the manger surrounded by angels and those who have come to adore Him is a very inviting portrayal. Much more inviting than the image of a rugged, bloody cross. The birth of Christ was such a monumental occurrence...but the Christian faith isn't what it is because of the birth, but the death and resurrection. That's what separates Christianity from other religions. We serve a RISEN Savior. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the birth of Jesus was not extraordinary, merely that we can't lose focus of the cross amidst the more pleasant images associated with this season.

3. Examine the faithfulness of Mary.
I visited Prattville FUMC a couple weeks ago and Bro. Randy addressed something I've never really thought about before. Mary could have said no. When the angel came to her and explained that she would give birth to the son of God, she replied with this. "I am the Lord's servant. May it be as you have said." (Luke 1:38) Just try to put yourself in her shoes. She was just a young girl (most likely 13-16) with a very modest and humble life. Becoming pregnant out of wedlock would often result in stoning if accused by the partner. No one would look at her the same...she would bring shame to her family...who would believe her? I can't imagine everything she was thinking. But she chose to be faithful. If you haven't seen The Nativity Story, I highly recommend it. It really captures to humanness of Mary and Joseph. They are afraid, but don't hesitate to admit it. They remain faithful even in the face of great trial. And because of their faithfulness, God's ultimate will for our salvation was accomplished. What excuse do we have not to be faithful?

In closing, this is "A Prayer for Advent" by Frederick Buechner.

Holy Child, whom the shepherds and the kings and the dumb beasts adored, be born again.

Wherever there is boredom,
wherever there is failure,
wherever there is temptation too strong to resist,
wherever there is bitterness of heart,
come, thou blessed one, with healing in thy wings.

Savior, be born in each of us who raises a face to thy face,
not knowing fully who he is or who thou art,
knowing only that thy love is beyond his knowing
and that no other has the power to make him whole.

Come, Lord Jesus, to each who longs for thee
even though he has forgotten thy name.

Come quickly.

Amen.

Happy Halloween!

2006-11-01T23:14:00.000-06:00

Here's a quick Halloween recap. I actually dressed up this year. See if you can figure out what I am. (Hopefully it won't take you too long).

We had a blast at the Halloween Trailer Park Extravaganza. Basically, it was an un-official Wesley Foundation party. There were definitely some interesting costumes...
Cary as the Heisman
Tommy Tuberville with a true Bama fan :op
Meagan as Quail Man

Needless to say, it was a great time. We even had the cops called on us! It was awesome! Can you tell I've lived a sheltered life? It was funny, actually. Evidently one acoustic guitar counts as a live band, which violates the trailer park contract. Ha! But the cop was pretty nice, no biggie.

So, I know everyone has been waiting ALL year to find out who I've deemed worthy of being immortalized in a pumpkin. If you think back to last year (or look) you'll remember that Napolean Dynamite was the lucky selection. This year, it was only fitting that I show my respect to a fallen hero...none other than Steve Irwin. Croiky!

I know it's not the most traditional memorial, but it took a lot of effort. Just for future reference, somebody better carve my face into a pumpkin when I die. That would have to be the greatest honor ever...

Lol

2006-10-24T15:03:00.000-05:00

Yes, I just typed lol for the first time on a computer. Can you believe it? Okay, so it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud at something on tv...but this is officially my new favorite commercial...

Isn't that hilarious?!

It just doesn't get any better than this.

2006-10-05T14:37:00.000-05:00

The mountains quake before Him and the hills melt away. The earth trembles at His presence, the world and all who live in it.
-Nahum 1:5

Ramble alert

2006-08-30T16:35:00.000-05:00

Howdy folks, this is just a random update. School's underway and I'm already tired of it. And I mean literally TIRED! I thought this would be an easy semester, but it's actually been the most hectic so far. Between two bands, softball, karate, Tae Kwon Do, Tau Beta Sigma, Encounter, Wesley Foundation, etc., I've barely got any down time. On the positive side, it prevents boredom which is something I absolutely cannot handle. But hopefully things will slow down a little as the semester progresses.

On another note, football season starts this weekend! The band's been working hard so hopefully it'll pay off and we won't make fools of ourselves. Speaking of band, check out the poster for this year! (Hint- check out the bottom piccolo, second from right)

I thought it was pretty cool. :o)

Like I said earlier, boredom is something I absolutely can't handle. I always have to be doing something...ALWAYS. Because of this, I've always taken up random hobbies. My last one was juggling, but that didn't last very long. I think I want to try rock climbing more often. I climbed a little this weekend (still feeling the pain).

Also, I've decided that I want to go kayaking. And luckily, I have a friend that owns two kayaks so I'll be doing that soon. I can't wait!

You'll be pleased to know that I'm really buckling down with magic...well, illusions. Incase you didn't know, I've been doing magic tricks since I was in the seventh grade. I go through random periods that I become really interested in working on new things, and this just happens to be the biggest period yet. I'll try to get some video of my new material soon so keep an eye out for it. :o) I really enjoy freaking people out, it's a blast!

Well, I've rambled on enough for now. So have a blessed week and I'll do my best to update again soon. Peace.

Spiritual Gifts

2006-08-17T15:54:00.000-05:00

Your dominant gifts are Pastor/Shepherd, Showing Mercy, Exhortation

The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.

As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.

You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.

People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.

Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.

Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.

HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.

Spiritual Gifts

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Strength

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Evangelism 14

Prophecy 15

Teaching 10

Exhortation 16

Pastor/Shepherd 17

Showing Mercy 16

Serving 13

Giving 7

Administration 10
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Find out what your own spiritual gifts are here.

Making my decision

2006-08-10T21:12:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading my blog for a while then you've probably heard my rants and worries about nursing school and all that jazz. Well, there's good news. Nursing school will no longer be stressing me out because I'm no longer going. As soon as school starts next week, I'll be officially changing my major to Human Development and Family Studies. There are a lot of factors that contributed to this decision. I've always loved the medical field- I'm addicted to Trauma:Life in the ER, House, Untold Stories of the ER...you get the idea. And some of the most exciting experiences I've had were while working on an ambulance. I didn't decide to go for nursing until my senior year of high school. But I really struggled with it my first year of college. I would be a good nurse. I would enjoy it, and it would be fulfilling to help people. But I just don't think it's where God's calling me to be. That brings me to my next big decision. Everyone keeps asking me what kind of job I can have with a HDFS major. Well, I don't really plan to pursue a career with this exact major, but to use it to prepare me for what I really want to do. So....after I graduate, I'm going to seminary. Yep, seminary. I'll have to make the decision of which one later, but I've narrowed it down to Asbury or Candler. I'm leaning toward college or youth ministry, but I'm not completely disregarding the idea of ordination. I've gotten some great advice from some pastor buddies, and the best route is probably getting a Masters of Divinity degree. That way, I have a wide variety of options and I'm not limited to one particular area such as youth director, missions, etc.

With nursing, it was more of an "I guess this will do" kind of thing rather than a "this is what I'm really passionate about" kind of thing. I've toyed around with the idea of seminary for about four years. I always tried not to think too much about it because it really scared me. It's three or four more years of school...and I honestly can't stand school. It's moving away, Kentucky or Atlanta...and I don't deal well with change. It's a new accountability...and hypocrisy is one of my greatest fears. Because of all these things, I pushed the idea away. But at the end of last semester, it hit me that the nursing thing just wasn't going to work. I had so many questions. What am I supposed to do with my life? It was in that confusion and brokenness that God really revealed His plan. I can't explain it...it just feels right for the first time. That's not to say I'm still not terrified. It's a big step, and I know it's not going to easy. But at the same time, I have a peace about it. I've been really frustrated lately because I haven't exactly gotten the support I would have hoped for with this decision. Actually, the only people I've talked to who actually seemed excited and encouraging have been preachers. But I think they might be just a little biased. It's hard to make such a huge decision just to have it discouraged. But even though it's disappointing, I'm actually glad people have tried talking me out of it. It's made ME make the decision. This isn't something that can be done because someone else wants me to. It's between me and God. That's it. So as tough as it is, the lack of support has really been a blessing. Money's been the main issue. It's like that's supposed to be my main motivation for doing things. It's not that I think money doesn't matter at all...but it's far down on the list of the most important things in my life. There are three words that I constantly have to tell myself that go along with this. GOD WILL PROVIDE. And big surprise, it's the name of a song!

God will provide beyond what we imagine
So much more than we can fathom
He will supply
God will provide when we trust in Him completely
And take each step believing like a child
God will provide.

I've just got to have faith that if God brings me to it, He'll bring me through it. Hey, He hasn't failed me yet. Why doubt Him now? As often as I get discouraged, I honestly can't say He's ever let me down. He's got a plan for me, and though it's often difficult to see how that plan works, we've got to simply trust Him. Another thing I've been struggling with is a huge feeling of unworthiness. I mean, who am I to do this? Who am I? It was almost to the point that I chose not to follow through with this decision. But Nolan helped me out with that one, as well as some other issues. I'm going to quote him, but I'm sure he has all this copyrighted so don't steal it. :op "I remember clearly a preaching professor that talked about never standing in the pulpit without thinking "who am I" to be the one that delivers the word of truth today. It is an awesome responsibility and one not to be taken lightly. The mystery that God chooses to use people like you and me to lead and shape his people is crazy in our logical minds. Ultimately, it isn't you that is doing it. Done rightly, God is working in and through you, and whether you go to seminary or not, God is going to do that." Very well spoken.

I know this isn't going to easy, but it's relieving to stop wrestling so much and just allow God to show me His will. So, there's my announcement/ramble about that. Don't worry, you'll probably hear plenty more about the subject. In the mean time, prayers are much appreciated. Not only about this, but band camp started this week! War Eagle! And it's H-O-T out there. But it's going to be a great season...we've got roughly 375 members this year, the largest band in the history of Auburn. Anyway, I'm exhausted...and you probably are too after reading this long thing. My bad, I get going and just can't stop! God bless and goodnight.

What a blast

2006-06-22T22:43:00.000-05:00

Hi, My name is Halley...and I'm a Camp Sumatanga addict. I'm currently trying to get past PCD (post camp depression). I've been going through major withdrawals this week after leaving. Reality just seems so much duller after camp. Things are simple there. I love it! Some of my favorite childhood memories are from camp, and I'm so glad I finally got to be a counselor at one of my favorite places ever. Elementary camp 1 was the bomb diggity! Here are a few highlights from the week...if you weren't there, you probably won't understand most of it. If you're curious, just ask.

1. Tanner and Jack flash animation (I don't think I've ever laughed so hard)
2. Bridget: "Jamie, aren't you a trained counselor?"
Jamie: "What? I wasn't listening."
3. Tanner's special bug spray (aka Windex)
4. Ten feet rule!
5. Trying to teach John to play Mary Had a Little Lamb
6. Tinkerbell, Loretta, Bart, and Fluffy
7. Did he just say homo?
8. Hit the break, hit the break!!! (Jamie and Tanner pulling my car out of the woods)
9. The phrase of the day acronym
10.Pudding, pudding, pudding.
11.Shaving cream and goldfish
12.Is that tea or coke?
13.Agapeeeeee!!!!
14.Squint songs
15."Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped
by waves; but he was asleep."
Some of these random things might make more sense if you look at the pictures from camp. They're over there. ---------------->

Man, what a week. But that's not the end for me. I'm heading back to camp when I get back from Mobile this weekend. I'll be working three of the remaining four weeks of camp. I'm soooo excited! It's such a special place. Sure, you have to rough it. No phone, computer, tv, or modern technological luxuries. Sure, you have to take 2 minute showers and shave your legs in the sink. Sure, it's HOT! But it's well worth it. The kids are such a joy....most of the time. It's such an amazing thought that we have the chance make a difference in their lives. 4th-6th graders aren't the easiest to deal with, but they're at that age where they really need to start making decisions. They're becoming accountable. I'll admit, it's not my favorite age to work with. It's tough. But I do think it's the most impressionable age and I'm honored to be part of it. I'm so excited already! I better start getting packed and all that jazz. Oh yeah, feel free to write me while I'm gone. I'll be there June 25-30th, July 8-14 (the 11th is my birthday :o) ) and July 23-28. I've never gotten a letter at camp, so it would definitely help get me through a long, hot week. Here's the address.
Halley Power
Camp Sumatanga
3616 Sumatanga Road
Gallant, AL 35972
Until I see or talk to you again, God bless!

Living a life of impact

2006-06-03T01:11:00.000-05:00

"Carpe Diem! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary." -Robin Williams: Dead Poets Society

Seize the day...it's a phrase we've heard countless times. But have you really ever stopped to think about it? What does this quote mean to you? What do you consider an extraordinary life? I'm sure the answers to these questions vary for each individual, but I'll throw in my own two cents on the subject. Sometimes we have to be reminded the hard way that life isn't a right we have, but a privilage. It can be taken away without a moment's notice. So what are you going to do about it?
Here's another quote that I particularly like. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift; that's why we call it the present." I'll be the first to admit that I struggle with dwelling on the past. I also dwell on the future. I have no idea where I'm going to be or what I'll be doing in ten years, and that scares me. But we aren't even promised another breath, let alone ten years. A lot of people are uncomfortable thinking about this, but the more I think about it, the more I come to appreciate this life I've been given (even though I definitely don't deserve it).

The worldly view of an extraordinary life seems to depend heavily on money, power, and success. There's so much more to life than earthly possessions. Now, that's not to say that I don't worry about materialistic things. But then I'm reminded of one of my favorite collections of verses, Matthew 6:25. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Now how could you possibly argue with that? It's incredible!

Okay, so here are my personal opinions (more like prayers I guess you could say) for the goal of leading an "extraordinary life". And what a coincidence, they're all song lyrics!

1. "Hide me behind the cross, where my gains become as loss. And only your glory is in view. Your power will be revealed the more that I am concealed. Hide me behind the cross so the world sees only You."

The most influential life that could possibly be lived is one that you don't really live at all. "For I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ liveth in me" (Galatians 2:20). Noone lived a more extraordinary life than Jesus. He led a life of complete humbleness. Here He is...the Son of God, the King of Kings, the Savior of the world...and He's born in a manger, works as a carpenter, and spends all his days in service to furthering God's kingdom on the earth and being a servant to people. He even went as low as washing dirty, nasty feet! It definitely doesn't seem like the life a King would live. But noone in the history of mankind has had more impact than that one man. So in order to live an extraordinary life, one must seek to live as Jesus lived...a life of total humbleness and sacrifice, no matter what the cost. What better role model could you possibly find?

2. "I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me? Did I choose to love?Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering. A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically,and leave that kind of legacy."

A couple years ago, I was having a really hard time dealing with some rumors circulating through my church, school, and whole community. I felt like my name (and more importantly, my witness) had been ruined because of some stupid lie. My mom told me that I shouldn't worry about it because in 100 years, nobody will even remember me. At the time, it seemed to be a comfort. But then I got to thinking about it. I want to be remembered! Well, not necessarily me, but what Christ has done through me. I know that what I do today affects tomorrow, but I want it to have such an impact that it continues far past tomorrow. If there were only one thing I could be remembered for, I would want people to remember that I was a child of God. All these earthly accomplishments will fade away, but my relationship with Christ will last forever.

3. "I have always wanted to be somebody who is great...I want to be great. To be great in, great in your eyes, is my dream. To be the one who makes you smile is everything. To love my enemies, to serve others until I become the least...become the least. Greatness in this world is different than greatness in your eyes. To be real and genuine in my love for others and for You is to be great."

The key point in this song for me is the part about making God smile. Now that's a goal...to make God smile, to bring joy to His heart. This song is basically short and to the point. But the words are so profound. Everyone searches for ways to be "great" according to the world. But God has a completely different definition for being great. Once again, it's about humbleness...sacrifice...love.

We're not promised tomorrow. So why put off living to the greatest potential while waiting for another day? Life is so fragile, and we only get one chance to make it count. Here are some of the questions I often ask myself. Maybe they'll help you out a little. What kind of impact is your life making? What kind of legacy are you leaving? What will you be remembered for? And if you're not getting the kind of answers you were hoping for...what are you going to do about it? Don't wait for tomorrow to make a difference. Carpe Diem! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary...

I have such an entertaining job

2006-05-25T23:50:00.000-05:00

Yes, I do. Lifeguarding can be very boring, but it also provides me with just enough humor to get me through a long, hot day. There are ups and downs to working at Surfide.
Ups:
1. Snow cones
2. Dippin Dots
3. Free admission on days off
4. Easy, fast tan
5. Adorable babies in the kiddy pool
Downs:
1. HOT, HOT, HOT
2. Pay is low
3. Boss is evil...really, she is.
4. Terrible tan lines on shoulders
5. Did I mention it was hot?

This was the first week we were open, and not every school has gotten out for summer. So needless to say, it's been a slow week. However, there have been very special people who have gotten me through it. I was at the shore position of the wave pool, just waiting for one more rotation so I could take a break. This guy (not child, but full grown man) comes up to me and asks how to get in the wave pool. Now, if you've ever been to Surfside, or any other waterpark, it's not hard to figure out that a wave pool is supposed to be simulation the ocean. There's a shore...then it gets deeper and deeper as you go farther. How could you not know how to walk into a wave pool!? It's beyond me. The next day, a boy professed his love for me. I'm guessing he was about twelve or thirteen. It was very nice, I was flattered. He and his friends kept me entertained while I worked the lazy river, which definitely isn't very eventful. Today was my first (and only day) off this week. So what did I do? I volunteered to guard for a 2nd grade class party at the pool in Asheton Park. Yeah, I need money that badly. It was hot...and boring. But I got me some cash so I'm happy.

So, that's my spill on work. Speaking of work, I've got the be there in the morning so I better hit the sack. I'm working second shift, which is the longest. Eight hours, wahoo. Hopefully it won't be too bad. Ya'll should come to the park sometime. I can get you food and merchandise for half price! I'll be there almost all summer so come on out. Goodnight!

Just so you know

2006-05-20T22:56:00.000-05:00

You are corgially invited to my funeral. I am dying of BOREDOM! It stinks. But if you're bored too, feel free to check out my songs page that was updated today. Also, I've added the links to some other blogs I like over there ---> under "cool beans blogs" if you feel like blog surfing. Peace out.

Well isn't this nifty

2006-05-18T13:33:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay in an update, my internet's been down since last Friday. Thank goodness it's fixed now. Halley does not do very well without her internet. So while I was dying of boredom the other day, I came across a really cool program on my computer- Windows Movie Maker. I'm brand new to the whole thing, but I tried it out and made a little thing for Keith for graduation. Check it out.

A sigh of relief

2006-05-01T21:34:00.000-05:00

NO MORE SCHOOL!!! Yeah, I'm pretty excited right now. Today was the last day of classes for the semester. I've still got a couple finals (one Saturday and two next Monday), but I'm just counting my blessings. We have a band meeting tomorrow to discuss next year's marching season, as well as the trip we'll be taking. Guess where we're going.....give up? Ireland and Scotland! The mayor of Dublin, Ireland invited us to come take part in the St. Patty's Day parade. That's gonna be awesome. If anybody knows how to make some big money, let me know. Unlike other band trips where we're the ones getting paid to go, we have to fork out the money for this one. But I'm really excited.

So, I've been pretty busy lately. How about we do a photo recap?!

Newsflash!! Cari has hair!!! Okay, so I was instructed by Jonathan Herston himself to put this adorable little angel on my blog, but I couldn't pass up that cuteness even if he had never mentioned it. She's grown so much since the last time I saw her. Precious, precious, precious. It was good seeing Jothanan (as I call him) and Katie too. I really am going to come visit ya'll soon!!! If you want to see more of this little bundle of joy, check out page 3 of this album.
Saturday was the Tau Beta Sigma/Kappa Kappa Psi/Sigma Alpha Iota formal. A lot of my night was spent throwing rose petals in the air, as you can see. It was okay, but it would have been a little less boring with a date. Maybe next year. Here are the rest of the pictures from formal.

The Chrysalis hoot that I was talking about in the previous post was this past Sunday. It really was a hoot! The numbers were a little disappointing, but it's not about numbers at all. There was great fellowship, worship, and fun. Thanks to everyone who helped out in any way. I really appreciate it. I'm already looking forward to next year. We were definitely very blessed by The Crossing (Zachary and Trey) who led worship for us. All I can say is Shane & Shane better watch their backs. It was a blast getting to know these guys. Their entire mission is just to serve God, and He's using them in mighty ways. They're so humble, but I'll give them the credit they don't give themselves. :o) They rock! So keep an eye out for them. Oh, and I might just end up being their photographer, haha.

Check out the rest of the hoot pics, as well as my wonderful photoshoot for the guys. Also, they got a hold of my camera while I was running around. They had a great time doing their own little modeling session.

Hoot pics

While I'm giving you a billion links for pictures, I also updated the pretty stuff album.

Oooo! Also, I finally wrote a second verse to a song I wrote a while back. Last night I took a break from studying and a line popped into my head. Of course, I had to finish the whole thing before I could even think about studying more or sleeping. Needless to say, I went to bed pretty late but it was worth it. Feel free to visit my songs page and let me know what you think.

I think that about covers it for now. By the way, I'm getting a haircut tomorrow. Just thought I'd let ya know. :o) And incase you were counting, this is my 50th post. That's a big deal, so how about ya leave a comment or something? I'm getting kind of sad here...not a single comment for the past few posts. Where's the love? Well, I'm about to chill out. Once again, there's no chance of going to sleep because of my wonderful neighbors and their thumping bass speakers. I just love those guys... Until I see you again, God bless.

Hoot!

2006-04-22T12:51:00.000-05:00

Get excited! The Central Alabama Chrysalis Community is hosting an OPEN hoot/youth rally on Sunday, April 30th from 3:00-6:00 central time. It will be located at Camp Whitewater in Prattville, Alabama. Since it's an open hoot, anyone is able to attend- not just people who have already experienced a Chrysalis flight or Emmaus Walk. The purpose of this event is not only to provide a reunion for those already involved in Chrysalis, but to also spread awareness of Chrysalis so that others may experience this wonderful journey. The hoot will consist of live music provided by The Crossing, two youth speakers, and a free dinner (hamburgers and hotdogs). We would be honored if you (and/or your youth group) could come worship with us. We've tried to arrange the time so that each group can work around their own church schedule. You're welcome to leave after dinner if you still need to have your regular church events. However, we will continue with worship until (or possibly after) 6. I've attached a flier for the event if you would like to print it out or distibute it. Feel free to contact me with any questions. PLEASE RSVP by Thursday, April 27th if you intend on coming or bringing a group so that we can get an approximate count for buying food. You can either e-mail (powerhc@auburn.edu) or call - (706)590-0182. Thanks a bunch and we hope to see you there!

Well, that's the basic letter that's been sent to approximately 38 youth groups. As of right now, I'm not exactly sure of how it's going to pan out. I've only received an RSVP from two youth groups. Plus I've still got tons to do. Good news though, I found a band to lead music! Originally we planned on getting the Encounter band, but they charge a tad bit more than we can pay. Okay, a lot more. So we will be having The Crossing, which consists of two guys and an acoustic guitar. I love that Shane and Shane feel. They're really willing and excited about it, and I'm excited about having them. Right now I'm trying to find a screen for putting up words to songs. We have a projector, but I think it only works for certain laptops. Sooo if anyone knows where we can get a screen or a laptop, please let me know. I'm really really hoping the rsvp's start rolling in this week. It wouldn't be a big deal if we didn't have to buy food. I'm trying to get everything done and organized on top of having finals. So it's kind of stressful, but I'm trying to remember the reason behind it. It's not about me, it's all about God. It's not about me, it's all about God. Yeah, I've been repeating that quite a bit lately. :o) Feel free to spread the word about the hoot. Also, if you know someone's coming, please encourage them...okay, tell them...to let me know.

Well, I'm about to go be lazy some more. I had to get up early this morning to have breakfast with Ian and Jason. Ian came down from North Carolina for his best friend's engagement party thingy. I had the stuffed french toast at I-Hop. Oh-my-goodness. That is some gooood stuff. Yeah, random. Just thought I'd share that incase anyone's planning on going to I-Hop. Have a great weekend!

Someone had a LOT of time on their hands.

2006-04-12T23:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I was blog surfing tonight and came upon one of the most creative methods of portraying scenes from the Bible I've ever seen. This guy (he's actually a minister) constructed depictions of Biblical events entirely from Legos. That's right, legos. The farthest I ever got as a kid was a spaceship...

Check this out

(Special thanks to Susanna for the link)

Interesting

2006-04-08T00:24:00.001-05:00

Your Birthdate: July 11

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world. You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.
Your strength: Your inner peace
Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds
Your power color: Emerald
Your power symbol: Leaf
Your power month: November

Yeah, I'm bored. It's Friday night, about 12:30. I just got back from watching She's the Man at the theater. I enjoyed it, good movie. There's no chance of going to sleep any time soon because the neighbors are apparently throwing a kegger. We have very loud (boy) neighbors who enjoy blowing things up. Literally. So I figured I'd update the blog. I was dreading going back to school this week, but it really wasn't that bad. I had a test today and outlines due (which are a huge pain) but it's over now so I can relax. Ooo and I made 20 bucks today judging drum major tryouts at Auburn High. It was fun. Poor kids, they were so nervous. I tried to smile...that always helped me during tryouts.

Oooo yeah, you know what I found out yesterday? Okay, get this. I was talking to Hope (former youth director-adorable kids-went to visit during sb-just read the post below) and she asked me if I knew Tony Nolan. The name didn't ring a bell. She said that he was their neighbor and she just found out that he toured with some big Christian band as their preacher for the shows. I asked the band and she didn't remember. So she gave me his website. I was expected it to be some small band that I'd maybe heard of. No sir. It's CASTING CROWNS!!! Yeah, needless to say I called her right back and screamed into the phone for a while. They're only like, the best (and my favorite) band ever! Maybe he can hook me up with tickets and stuff. I was just really excited about that and figured I'd share.

You know, I've been in a really good mood lately. I've just really been able to take a step back and see how God's been working in my life. It's been awesome. I'm so incredibly blessed, but sometimes I get so caught up in everything that I completely look past it. I'm really trying to be intentional about things. I often get distracted by going through the motions, and I'm tired of putting God on the back burner. He deserves sooo much more than I give Him. Thank goodness His grace and forgiveness is ever-flowing.

While we're on the subjects of music and God, I downloaded the new Passion cd yesterday! It's the bomb diggity. One of Matt Redman's new songs has been stuck in my head all day. The lyrics really just portray what I want to sing to God.
"Oh, no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh, no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh, no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me.

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes...
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You..."

Isn't that awesome? He never let go and I know He never will. Man, it all just blows me away.

It comes to an end

2006-04-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

Yes, spring break has come and gone. Overall, it was pretty good. Here's the low down on what I did, starting with last week.

Friday- What better way to start spring break than going to Emmaus? So that's what I did. We ate dinner at Niffers then went to the camp. We had a record number of Chrysalis folks there. I'm usually one of the only (if not the only) young person at Alamisco, so hopefully we'll have a lot more involvement from now on.

Saturday- I actually slept late, which was very nice. That afternoon, I headed back up to Emmaus for closing. Wonderful, as usual. After that, I dropped by Niffers for a very healthy dinner of cheese sticks and Reese's pie...yum. Then, I went to babysit my adorable cousin, Nathan.

Sunday- Went to church in Prattville, then Ruby Tuesdays with the bunch. Food took a while, but it was fun. And my mom came with me which was cool beans. After that, I came home and took a nice nap. For dinner, I went to Ruby Tuesdays (again) with Ian and Jason. Then Ian and I went to Wal-Mart where I got a new tub of icing (yummm) and he tortured me getting two tubs of my favorite kind of ice-cream, moose tracks. I gave ice-cream up for Lent...and I swear, I've never been faced with so much temptation in my life! Everywhere I turn, I see ice-cream. No joke. Anyway. After we stocked up, we played some ping pong and chilled in the hot tub fora while.

Monday- Very eventful, haha. I slept late. I woke up and took a shower. Went back to sleep for a few more hours...okay more like 6 hours. But I had the worst migraine ever so I don't have to feel bad about wasting the entire day. After I finally dragged myself out of bed, I decided to go see a movie. Being a sucker for good horror flicks, I saw The Hills Have Eyes...and I was the ONLY person in the theater! Not kidding. The only person. Not good. I can handle watching some guy kill people with knives all day long. Scream, Halloween, Friday the 13th- don't bother me a bit. But you start talking about genetically mutated hillbillies and play old folk music...Halley gets freaked out. It was like a mix between The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Deliverance, and Wrong Turn. Not a good combination for me. But if you're in the mood to be scared, go see it. It was a pretty good movie.

Tuesday- That morning, I babysat Nathan again. Pure cuteness. We watched countless episodes of Dora the Explorer, Baby Einstein, and The Wiggles. I just love the Wiggles! Seriously, I do. After his dad got home, I left for Atlanta so visit my old youth directors (Brad and Hope) and their kids (Scott and Beth). I feel so old, Scott's eight now and Beth is four. I remember when Scott learned to walk! It's crazy man. But we had a good ole' time.

Wednesday- I was so graciously woken at around 6 am my time by Scott and Beth. They just get a big kick out of waking me up for some reason. Brad had already left for work, and Scott was off to school..I can't believe he's in second grade...sorry. So the girls went out for a nice breakfast. Then we took Beth to swim lessons. It was pretty funny...she conned her teachers and got out of having to jump off the side of the pool. She's four and she's already tricking people to get out of doing what she doesn't want to do! I'm so proud of her, I'm teaching her well. :op But really, those kids are soooo smart! I went upstairs to see what Scott was doing after I got there, expected him to be watching tv like a normal kid. But no, he was reading! Yes, reading. We were outside playing with the puppy and he asks me this..."So, what are your thoughts on reincarnation?" He's eight! They're so precious. And take a look at the drawing Beth made for me. Is that not adorable? And amazing. She even colored my eyes brown, gave me a pony-tail, asked my favorite color for my shirt, and took the time to ask the exact color order of the rainbow. Very cool. I'm gonna get it framed. It stunk to leave, but I'm gonna go back up this summer and spend a whole week. I got back in Auburn then went over to Ian's to watch American Idol. Then we (and a few more folks) went to see Failure to Launch. Now that's a good movie! Very cute, highly recommended. Of course, before the movie we had to go to Brusters. Can you say torture!?

Thursday- Went to lunch with Ian and some more of his friends at Bullards. After that, he left for good to move to North Carolina. I held myself together, I was proud of myself. But it still really stinks. I was extremely bored that afternoon, and being bummed out didn't help very much. So I decided it was time for another "Halley's Night Out". I started by going to my favorite restaurant ever, Mikata. It was delicious. Then I went to the mall. It was really cool how it worked out. I walk in American Eagle and I'm wearing my Encounter shirt. The guy that worked there asked me if I went to Encounter, I said yes, and he said he did too. He asked if I was there the night everyone gave away their shoes. It was funny because that was why I was there to begin with, I went to buy some AE flip flops since I gave away my other pair. He told me they had a deal- buy one pair and get the other half off. Well, I'm not too big on just buying things like crazy. I needed one pair of nice flip flops so that's what I got. Well, he offered to pay for the second pair of flip flops! How nice was that? I need to start wearing my Encounter shirt everywhere. :op I tried to decline the offer but it didn't work. So now I have two new pairs of flip flops for this summer! After I left the mall, I went to see another movie. I wanted to see a nice comedy (She's the Man) but there wasn't a show time then so I had to see Stay Alive. It was okay.

Friday- Got up early and drove to Valley to have lunch with my mom at her school. Then I went to Wetumpka to go horseback riding with Alicia. It was a blast, as usual...but this time was a little more eventful. Diamond (the donkey) went with us and was very rowdy. He scared Macy so she took off, running, jumping, bucking- now I know what a rodeo's like. But I got her calmed down. Well, I guess all the excitement made her hot...so she decided to roll over in the creek..with me still on top! I was soaking wet, muddy, and banged up from the rocks. But it was hilarious. And it made it that much more memorable.

Saturday- I talked my mom into coming up to Auburn. We had lunch at Applebees then watched a couple movies at my place. Must Love Dogs was a cute chick flick. Not the best I've ever seen, but worth the watch. Derailed was pretty good too. I'm not used to seeing Jennifer Anniston in that kind of role, but she did a nice job. Great thriller. That night, I went to dinner with Brittany (Carmichael). Her boyfriend (Bray) works at Ruby Tuesdays so we got a discount. Big plus.

Sunday- Board meeting in Prattville, went pretty well. We're going to have a hoot/youth rally in about a month so I'm excited about that. I stayed in town and went to church that night. And take a wild guess as to where we went afterward....TCBY! Oh my goodness. I think this has been harder than when I gave up meat! I love my ice-cream. But I'm making it. Since I was craving something sweet, I stopped by Krispy Kreme on the way back to Auburn. Yummmm. I got a dozen- 6 HOT glazed, 2 chocolate glazed, 2 kreme filled, and 2 caramel crunch. No, I didn't eat them all at once. I've got a ways to go. But they're soooo good!

Well, that brings me to now-typing this blog. Man this was a long one. Oh yeah, if you want to check out the rest of the pics from spring break, check out the album "good times, good times". I put all the links over there ----> . The "pretty stuff" album has been updated also. I should probably be going to bed soon considering I have an 8 am class. I'm really not looking forward to going back to school. But hey, only a month to go! I can't wait. So until I blog again, God bless and goodnight. :o)

I stand in awe again

2006-03-25T22:41:00.000-06:00

Ya know, on days like today (and every other day for that matter), I really wonder how people could not believe in the existance of God. I just can't comprehend it. But honestly, I think we can learn quite a bit from atheists. They have more faith than I'll ever have. It sounds crazy, but think about it. The idea that all the order around us came from nothing and isn't governed at all takes a boo-coodle of faith. I'm just blown away by everything around me. You don't have to look very far to see the amazing "proof" if you will that God exists. Sooo here's a short list of the things I'm usually observing/pondering when I'm just dumbfounded. Try em out if you can.

1. Watch the sun rise
2. Watch the sun set
3. Move your thumb. Really. Just move it around every which way.
4. Take an Anatomy/Physiology class
5. Watch a baby sleep
6. Lay down and look at the stars
7. Look at the ocean
8. Go to sleep. Then wake up.
9. Try to list all the blessings in your life
10. Think about every event, good or bad, and consider that there are no "accidents" or
"coincidences".

It's just incredible. And most of those are just very superficial things. The main source of faith in God for me comes simply from what He's done in my life. Especially right now, I'm just in awe of how He ALWAYS provides. Things have been rough lately, and at first glance I considered them losses. But I guess you could say I've discovered blessings in disguise. First of all, I know I've been talking about how worried I was about getting into nursing school. Well, turns out I can't really even apply right now because of a rule involved prerequisites that I (or anybody else) was aware of until now. It's going to put me a little behind, but I get to take the summer off...which means I can FINALLY work as a counselor at Camp Sumatanga. I've wanted to do this for years, but I've always been busy during the summer. I'm planning on working an elementary and a jr. high camp. I know it's going to be such a blessing. It was for me growing up, and I'm excited to be a part of that experience for others. Second, relationships are coming to an end. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard and I've been really hurt. But I know God has a purpose in it. I need friends that are going to build me up and strengthen my walk with Christ. And God continuosly places those people in my life. These past few days, I've been surrounded by opportunities to be around true friends, even some new ones. God truly is amazing! I don't know how I could ever doubt Him...
Going back to the existance of God...many people claim to believe in God and assume that makes them a Christian. The mere belief isn't enough. It's completely clear in the Bible that Satan and demons believe in God. For example, consider the guy that was possessed in the book of Mark. Legion (the many demons that have possessed this man) says, "What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God?" They call Jesus by name...and it's obvious they're freaking out. I don't blame them. So believing in God is not the determining factor that makes a Christian. It's all about relationship. So many people get caught up in the idea of religion. It's not about religion at all! It's all centered around an intimate relationship with Christ. It's about laying down your own life and allowing Christ to live through you. It requires sacrifice. It's not always easy. In fact, it's really hard. But the rewards are out of this world...literally!

Trying...

2006-03-21T22:40:00.000-06:00

I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I'll say "Amen"...and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind, You heard my cry to You and raised me up again
My strength is almost gone, How can I carry on if I can't find You?
As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm...

Think you know me?

2006-03-17T23:13:00.000-06:00

Bored? Me too. So to entertain both of us, take my quiz. It's really very easy, mostly just the basics. I might put a harder one up later. Good luck!

Halley's Quiz

Too tired to come up with a catchy title..

2006-03-13T21:17:00.000-06:00

Long time, no update. Sorry, Ms. Anita! :o) Soooo things have been crazy lately, as usual. Here are a few things that have been going on/floating through my head.

1. It's finally time to apply to nursing school. I've known it was coming for a while, but it's here and I'm definitely not very confident about it. More than likely, I'm not going to get in. I'm not being overly negative, I'm just being realistic. So, this poses a problem. I only have three prerequisites/core classes that I have to get out of the way. It'll give me enough hours to be a full time student for one semester (granted I can get in the classes before they're full), but after that I don't know what to do. I have a few options. I could take twelve hours worth of classes that I don't need and would not benefit me at all just for the sake of keeping insurance. Or I could get a minor in religious studies. I actually would like to do that anyway, but that's also a problem because Auburn only offers a few classes each semester in that area. My third option (which I wouldn't mind at all) is to just take a semester off. It would be spring semester, and I could work or something. I wouldn't be totally lazy... I dunno. I guess we'll just have to take it as it comes. I might even get into nursing school and not have to worry about it. Who knows.

2. I've gone through a lot of spiritual changes lately. As I've already shared, I've just been on a rollercoaster. Well, I think God got tired of my spiritual complacency because I've definitely been hit really hard this week. Really really hard. Okay, that's still an understatement. I've been forced to put my entire trust in God rather than people because once again, people are being taken out of my life. And this time it wasn't expected like it has been in the past. It's so frustrating because I already have a VERY hard time trusting people and opening up to them. Words mean absolutely nothing to me. I've heard words all my life and there were rarely actions to back those words up. When someone tells me they're going to do something with me, I automatically disregard it and tell myself it's not going to happen because 95% of the time, it doesn't. I know it's a problem, I guess it's just a defense mechanism I've developed. I'm very cautious about getting close to people. If I'm just going to lose them, what's the point? Yet I still do it. And I'm sincerely glad I do it. As hard as it is for me to do, I know I need to trust people. However, I don't need to put all my trust in people instead of God. I depend on people far too much and I often base my happiness on it. That's been taken away, so I have no choice but to acknowledge Him. He's all I need, and I often forget that when I'm focused on earthly things. He's the only one I can ALWAYS depend on. He'll never leave me, he'll never fail me. As hard as these situations have been to deal with, God's humbled me so much, and he's definitely gotten my attention. Man, He's so awesome.

3. I'm moving to Prattville. No, really, it's definitely one of my top options for what I want to do after college. I've been up there every weekend for the past month for Chrysalis flights, team meetings, board meetings, Cotillion, and church. It's honestly the only place I feel like I fit in. I feel like I'm at home. First of all, there's the people. I feel like they're sincerely glad to see me, and they definitely show it. It's so overwhelming to feel so valued and loved. Pretty much all of my friends are from Prattville. I have friends here in Auburn too...but they're from Prattville. :o) I went to a dance (Cotillion) last weekend I honestly had more fun there than I had at any of my high school dances. Oh, by the way, check out the PICTURES! I also love Prattville FUMC. I never really felt like I fit in with my youth group at home. I completely click with their youth group (and church altogether) and I'm not even a member. Then, of course, there's Chrysalis. I'm never going to stop going, so it would be nice to just drive a few minutes to the camp instead of the 1.5-2 hours it takes me from Auburn or Valley. I haven't decided anything for sure, and I've still got plenty of time. But this option is at the top of my list.

Well, those are the basics of what's going on in the life of Halley right now. Spring break is coming up soon, so it will be very nice to get a break. I can't wait! So until my next update, God bless.

Ah, procrastination

2006-02-22T21:15:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I updated, so I figured this would be a great excuse to put off studying some more. We have our first test in Human Anatomy and Physiology Friday. I'm really not looking forward to it. It's not that the material is all that hard; there's just soooo much material to try to cram into my brain. And my brain's already been overloaded lately. It's almost mid-semester, so everything's really hectic. Overall, this semester has been easier than last semester. It feels more laid back, which I like. Plus I actually look forward to going to a couple classes for once. I'm really enjoying Tae Kwon Do. I've always been interested in martial arts, so it's nice to finally formally train. I would love to continue with it after the semester is over.

On a different, more random note...I'm watching True Life: I'm a Competitive Eater on tv. They pay big money to the winner of this hot dog eating contest. Now that would be a cool job. I don't have the stomach for it...have the stomach for it, haha. I didn't even mean to do that. :op Anyway. It's pretty funny. All the people are actually pretty skinny and in shape. Sorry, I'm just trying to come up with anything to keep from studying.

So...Chrysalis flight 44 was last weekend. And of course, it was totally awesome. Saturday's the second team meeting for flight 45. I think I'm doing more for that flight that I ever have before. But I can't wait! I just love it.

Oh yeah...if anyone's interested in seeing my life in pictures (which I'm addicted to), feel free to check out my albums!

Chris Tomlin Concert/Chrysalis Flight #44
Pretty stuff
BEHOLD 2006
Christmas Break
Random shots
More random shots
Prattvegas Bonfire/Halloween

Okay...well this has been fun but I should probably start studying...or at least think about it. That counts for something, right?

Musical ministries...

2006-02-10T00:34:00.000-06:00

I guess I've just been in a song writing mood lately, so I've added a few to my song blog. Feel free to check them out.

Halley's Songs

I've just been in a musical mood all around lately. Concert band is becoming more and more enjoyable. I've got to do music next Saturday for Chrysalis, then again in March. I've been thinking a lot about ministry through music. There's an organization called Worship Foundations International that sends teams of musicians all over the world, including Southeast Asia, Republic or Armenia, and Brazil. The mission is to spread God's love through song by performing, working with local musicians, working with children's camps, training, working with previously unreached people groups, and leaving a core of people to continue the work that is started. How awesome would that be? I've got a heart for music...and I've always really wanted to go on a mission trip. It seems perfect. However, there are issues that kind of get in the way. I won't know whether or not I'm accepted into nursing school (which will decide whether or not I'm taking classes this summer) until after the deadline to apply for the mission. Also, there's the whole money thing. No money, no trip. I would really like to go, but I know that whatever happens is in His will.

Another opportunity I might have is an actual job involving music ministry. I haven't talked directly to anyone yet, but I was told that Trinity United Methodist in Opelika was looking for a young adult to serve as the youth music minister. I was also told that the youth director (Steve Bass) directly asked about me. Sooo...I'm making phone calls to try to get more info and stuff. Just keep me in your prayers as I try to sort through all of this. I'm sure it will all work out. It always has.

Wowzers

2006-02-09T06:13:00.000-06:00

You....Go see it...right now.........no really, get up and go.....and take tissue.

Just incase you were wondering

2006-02-07T17:25:00.000-06:00

*29 RANDOM THINGS PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOU.*
1.	I eat at Momma Goldberg's almost every day.
2.	My favorite color is blue.
3.	There's nothing I'd rather wear than jeans and a t-shirt.
4.	I take my squishy pillow EVERYWHERE with me.
5.	I'm addicted to facebook.
6.	I'm in love with ice-cream.
7.	Scratch my back or play with my hair and I will love you forever.
8.	My ulnas are too short so my wrists make fun noises.
9.	I love riding horses.
10.	I never put milk in my cereal.
11.	I'm very good at arguing.
12.	I still love to skate.
13.	I've saved two people from drowning.
14.	I'm fluent in ubbi dubbi.
15.	My six front teeth are fake...long story.
16.	I want a motorcycle.
17.	Jesus is my homeboy.
18.	You can't beat McDonalds fries.
19.	I'm OCD about some things.
20.	I'm obsessed with pictures.
21.	I like being "one of the guys."
22.	I'm a 6th generation ninja in training...no,really.
23.	I eat all the icing off leftover cake or cupcakes.
24.	My hair is naturally very curly.
25.	Chrysalis and Emmaus are my heavens or Earth.
26.	I can do almost all of David Blaine's magic tricks.
27.	Naps are awesome.
28.	I'm totally awesome at Disney's Scene It.
29.	I always have to be doing something with my hands...just watch me, but don't laugh.

Halley needs a companion...

2006-01-23T22:17:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I've decided that I need a serious companion. No, not a guy. I need....a puppy! And not just any puppy...a chihuahua! Yes, a chihuahua. I've been browsing puppyfind.com (totally awesome site) lately and I can't help but fall in love with them. I already have the most amazing dog ever (Molly) and I love her to death, but she lives at home in Valley so I don't get to see her too much. A chihuahua would be perfect for apartment life. I would love em and squeeze em and hug em and spoil em! However, there are a couple of obstacles. First of all, there's money. Puppies aren't exactly cheap. Then, the pet fee here is 350 bucks! Halley's a poor college student. Next comes my mom's favorite excuse to prevent me from getting a puppy. "You don't have time for a puppy." I'll admit it, I am a pretty busy girl. But I'm home most of the day! I know quite a few band people with little puppies. Meredith got a new puppy last year and she was drum major. And Track is still perfectly happy and healthy. I would take care of it! And puppies are the BEST stress relief ever. Check out these pictures and just try not to smile! It's humanly impossible. These are some of my favorites so far. :o)

Mountain Top Existence

2006-01-22T00:04:00.000-06:00

I've come to realize that I rely far too much on "mountain top" experiences to keep me on track spiritually. I've always known this and tried to prevent it, but it's really hitting home right now. I just got back from BEHOLD, which by the way was absolutely awesome (I'll post details later). Going into it, I was really excited because I knew what was coming. Over the past few months...okay few is an understatement... I've just felt really distant from God. Things have been hectic with school and everything else that goes along with being out on my own. I haven't rebelled or anything like that, and I've still gone to church, Encounter, Bible study, etc. I just felt spiritually dry. I know everyone goes through periods like this, I just get frustrated because I feel like I can't do anything about it. That's where mountain top experiences come in for me- Behold, Chrysalis, Emmaus, and concerts. I tell myself that I'll finally get it together when I go, and it usually does the trick. While these experiences are great for bringing me a "spiritual high", I don't want this state to be such an extreme. I want to feel this close to God every single day, not just for a while after a retreat. I don't want it to wear off. I don't just want a mountain top experience. I want a mountain top existence. Every moment of every day...thirsting for God and striving to bring Him glory. I get so caught up in the things of this world. I'm trying to be in it and not of it. I don't want to just put on a smile and pretend to be happy. I should truly be filled with joy simply because I'm a child of God. As big as He is and as small as I am, He still cares enough to know every hair on my head...and that's a lot of hair! Man, it just blows me away. Yet I continuously become spiritually content. "Oh, Chrysalis is coming up in a month so it'll be fine." Why wait for Chrysalis? I've got to make my own mountain tops every day and simply refuse to come down. What's stopping me? What's keeping me from feeling this "spiritual high" with every breath? Nothing but me. It's time to move little 'ole ME out of the way.

Update

2006-01-08T21:06:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been forever and a day since I wrote an actual blog so I figured I'd take a few minutes to update. School starts back tomorrow...I'm soooo excited...Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've become far too spoiled during this break. It's really the first real break I've had in about two years. Last summer, I worked and had class. Last Christmas break, I was working every day. i finally got used to sleeping late again. So I'm not too thrilled about this 8 am class. Last semester was awful. I'm just hoping this one isn't so bad. I'm taking Human Anatomy and Physiology 2, World Lit. 2, Ethics, Human Odyssey 2, Concert Band, and Tae Kwon Do. Yes, I said Tae Kwon Do. I'm actually very excited about that. I'm also really excited about Encounter starting back up. I've been going through some major withdrawals. Ooo that reminds me! The Indescribable Tour is coming to Auburn!!! That's right, Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Louie Giglio are going to be right here in Auburn, Alabama. I saw them a couple months ago in Atlanta and it was the bomb diggity. It's so worth seeing again. I can't wait! And yet another thing I can't wait for is Behold. It's less than a week away! I've been asked to do a seminar; hopefully that will go smoothly.

I planned on writing quite a bit, but I think I'll save it for later. I'm gonna try to relax a little bit. I'm sick and I've got to get up bright and early...woo-hoo. Check back for more updates soon!

Rock on

2005-12-21T16:05:00.000-06:00

Ccehk tihs out

2005-12-13T19:59:00.000-06:00

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid... aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmratont!

More optimism

2005-12-10T00:43:00.000-06:00

Let's see...I got elected to the Chrysalis board as a young adult rep! I served a youth advisor two years ago, but you have to wait a year before you're eligible to be elected as a young adult. I get a term of three years, wahoo! I'm excited about it. There are definitely disadvantages in being on the board. You get to see the political side of the ministry, which isn't always fun. However, it's really cool to know you play a part in helping it improve.

This has been a pretty good weekend so far. I got a nice little surprise when I got invited to hang out with some folks from Valley that I haven't seen in forever and a day. Namely, Kevin, Marv, and Derrik. We got to eat dinner, and I was supposed to see The Chronicles of Narnia with them, but the show was sold out. It was sad, but I went to the next show. It was such an awesome movie! So go see it. To top it off, I ran into my best friend (Justin) from 5th grade-high school. He left for the air force when I was about 15, so I've only seen him two or three times in the last 4 years. But he's home now! There are a bunch of great (and crazy) memories with Justin, Kevin, and Marv. I crack up just thinking about it. I'm hoping to hang out with them more often.

Well, I've got two finals Monday and one Tuesday. As much as I hate to, I should probably start studying tomorrow. Blah. Hopefully they won't be too bad. Oh, who am I kidding...they're gonna be awful. Wait, this is supposed to be an optimistic post. Um...I'm sure I'll do just fine if I study and work hard. Is that better? If I'm going to spend tomorrow studying (which I surely will...) then I better hit the sack. I need to be out of bed by at least...1 tomorrow. That's fair enough. Goodnight and God bless.

Trying to be optimistic...

2005-12-04T22:27:00.000-06:00

I know I've been really negative lately, so I apologize to the few people who do read my blog diligently. While I have had pretty good reasons to have a bad attitude, I'm trying to focus on looking on the positive side of things. So this post is forcing me to be optimistic. Let's see...

Well, I tried out for drum major this year. I'm kind of bummed that I didn't get it, but I made it to the top six, and I was the only girl to make it that far besides the dm from last year. The tryouts were way too rushed. I literally had one day to try to learn to use a mace (which I've NEVER used before at all). That thing really hurts a lot when you wack yourself in the head...and elbow...and toe. It was my first time trying out, so maybe I'll do better next year. That was pretty optimistic...go me.

This is the last week of school. Finals are going to be awful, but at least I'll be done with it. And I get a nice, long break for Christmas. Wahoo.

So, I'm working at BEHOLD this year. I'm really excited about it. I haven't been to Sumatanga in about three years, and I'm soooo ready to go back. Some of my best memories are from that place. It's beautiful. Anyway. John Draper asked me to try to recruit some more college folks (around 20 from AU) to work, so let me know if you're interested in leading a group of youth.

Hmm...more optimism...Fred's still alive! Our poor lone goldfish. We think he might have killed the others. He was the biggest, after all. Oh well. His fins are up so I suppose he's just fine and dandy.

Well, I think I've been very optimistic considering it was a very crappy day. Maybe I can keep it up. I think I'll go to bed early tonight. I took a nice nap earlier this afternoon. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep from standing outside at 2 in the morning (in 30 degree weather) beating myself up with that stupid mace. So, goodnight to all.

New blog

2005-11-28T22:59:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I decided to finally organize all the songs that have floated through my head over the years. And what better way than to start a blog? So feel free to check it out.

http://halleysongs.blogspot.com/

What am I tired of?

2005-11-26T20:40:00.000-06:00

I'm tired of people that don't care about anything but themselves.
I'm tired of being a last resort.
I'm tired of missing people.
I'm tired of people not missing me in return.
I'm tired of being replaced.
I'm tired of people intentionally not answering my calls or calling me back.
I'm tired of not being worth anyone's time.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm just a burden.
I'm tired of losing people I love.
I'm tired of being brushed off.
I'm tired of false promises.
I'm tired of being taken advantage of.
I'm tired of giving and giving and giving for nothing.
I'm tired of trying so hard to get something I just can't have.
I'm tired of worrying about all this crap.

So, I've got to just let it go. Easier said than done. Letting go is one thing I've never been too good at. It would be easier if all this were referring to just one person. I wish. But no such luck. And I wish it weren't the people that are supposed to be the most important people in my life. Oh well. I'm tired of worrying about it. It's time to move on. It's time to stop letting other people determine my happiness. It's just time.

Random thoughts

2005-11-23T21:20:00.000-06:00

I'm really bored, so I'm just going to recap over the past week. Last weekend was the Iron Bowl. Can I get a War Eagle? However, I don't actually despise Alabama like a lot of Auburn fans. I pull for them as long as they're not playing us (or if their win affects something like the SEC championship). Most of that has to do with the fact that I hang out with the UA cheerleaders every other year, including last Friday night. However, I missed the Saturday brunch because of stupid band practice. We had a pretty good time. There was definitely a lot of food...and ice cream! It comes in handy that my aunt's neighbor owns Brusters. Very convenient. Anyway...

All my roomies went home Sunday, so I've had the place to myself all week. I'm not sure if I've ever been so bored in my entire life. I've had the chance to be soooo lazy. I've slept in every day. It's nice not to have to worry about stupid papers and homework and tests for a few days. I had three papers due last Friday...and of course, I wait until Thursday night to even start. That wasn't very much fun. I have done some cool stuff this week. I've been to the movies every single day since Sunday. Here are my critiques.

Sunday: Harry Potter 4- Very good movie, as I expected. I heard it left some stuff out from the book, but I've never read any of the books and I wouldn't have a clue. Highly recommended.
Monday: Saw 2- It was okay. It's a little hard to comprehend and keep up with at the end. Just like the first one, there's a pretty big twist. Definitely a big gorey, but pretty well directed.
Tuesday: Saw 2 (again)- yeah, a friend wanted to see it so I went again. It was pretty funny. He was like, "I've got it figured out, do you?" I just nodded my head and typed my predictions into my phone. I predicted the whole movie (even the things that were absolutely impossible to figure out) and showed him at the end. He probably thinks I'm psychic. Sweet.
Today: RENT- Oh my goodness! It was incredible. However, I do think you get more out of it if you've seen the play. I went with a group of friends from Valley, and we saw it in London a couple years ago. I figured the movie would be just like every other musical they've made into a movie...throwing out the songs and adding dialogue. Nope, not this one. They did add some dialogue, but 90 percent of the movie was singing. It was just like that play...only...a movie. Yeah. And it was really cool that they used the original Broadway cast. It was awesome!

Okay..onto the subject of fish. You know how we got 8 new goldfish about a week and a half ago? Yeah...we're down to one. One fish! I've had to perform three fishy funerals since the girls left. I don't know what we're doing wrong! But it's really frustrating. We bought them a nice ten gallon aquarium, decorations, glow in the dark grass, a bubbling oyster thing, breeding grass...yes, breeding grass, and a neon playset thing. And now there's only one fish (Fred) to enjoy it! If anyone knows any fish secrets, please let me know.

Guess what I got to do today! Give up? Okay, I'll tell you. I got to ride a 944cc (I think) motorcycle. It was so cool. It's David's bike, and the battery was dead so I went over a jumped it off. Then, we went for a nice little ride. That thing will fly! And now I want one even more. I've got a need for speed! :op

Well, tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I'll be heading to Wedowee, where the cow population outnumbers the human population. I'm ready for that food...especially the famous dressing. Oh yeah. That's one thing I have to be thankful for. I'm going to try to be more aware of all the blessings around me. I tend to complain alot, as well as take advantage of everything that's been given to me. I definitely don't deserve it. Hopefully I can carry past tomorrow and make every day a "Thanksgiving" holiday...only without the dressing. Happy Turkey Day!

Might as well

2005-11-16T10:32:00.000-06:00

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. it can be anything you want, either good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Interesting Weekend

2005-11-13T23:21:00.000-06:00

Well, the weekend went by really fast...but it was actually pretty good. First of all, I got to hang out with three different people from Valley that I haven't seen in a really long time. And they asked me! It was really random. I just love how God does that. He knows what I need...and He always provides it. Friday night was a blast. We had our first duplex party! It consisted of playing Dance Dance Revolution (a cool game I bought that afternoon), eating tacos, and playing Taboo. It was my first time playing Taboo, and I must say that it's a pretty nifty game. It was pretty funny too. We got a good laugh out of it, especially with Dan and Brian.
Dan (trying to guess the word poem): um...verse....poetry...song?
Brian: Okay, make it a noun!
Dan: Sing?
Yeah, it was a lot funnier if you were there.

Dance Dance Revolution! Fun, and a good workout.

On to Saturday. I got up super early and headed to the band hall. We loaded the buses and headed to Athens. What a game! It was so nerve-racking. We combined with the UGA band for half-time and did the same patriotic show as last year. I don't think their fans were quite as receptive. I've always heard LSU fans were awful, but Georgia's were ten times worse. Some of them were down right mean. But I'm sure there are fans like that everywhere, including Auburn. However, we did meet a very interesting man. He came up and put his arm around me and Jessica. Needless to say, he was a tiny bit intoxicated. He told us to ignore their obnoxious fans and that we shouldn't let anyone judge us by the uniform we were wearing because we are "artists"! It was hilarious. We got back to Auburn around 3:30 ish. Yeah, I was really tired.

Alrighty, on to today. First of all, I slept until about 1. It was nice. The senior recognition band banquet was tonight. Good food, fancy service, slideshow, and 8 new pets...good night. Yes, I said 8 new pets. We got to take the centerpiece from our table home with us! Check it out.

There's Fred, Nemo, Tyler Benjamin, Dan, Jeremy, Marlin Jr., Marlin Jr., and Marlin Jr.

I'm so happy! I'm pretty sure this doesn't violate our no pet policy. What are they gonna do, hop out and poop on the ground? :op Anyway, the banquet was very nice. Here's a group shot of the piccs.

Yeah, there have been a few slight annoyances, but overall it was a pretty good weekend. I'm gonna try to get some sleep now. I'm still pretty pooped, and I've got a busy day tomorrow. I've got to remember to buy fish food and distilled water. Well, goodnight and God bless.

A Must See

2005-11-09T17:46:00.000-06:00

Wow, I haven't laughed this much in a while. I followed a link from the Camp Sumatanga message board and came upon this site called Vintage 21. It's a really cool ministry based in North Carolina. Vintage is referring to "authentic" Christianity and 21 means the 21st century. Ok, so now that you know what it is, you HAVE to watch these videos. There are only 4, and they're really short. Click on the link and the main page will come up. Next, click on the film strip in the top left corner. Click videos and go to page 2. You should see "Jesus Video 1, 2, 3, and 4." It might help the read the explanation of the videos on the same page. They were created as a satirical view of people's misconceptions about Jesus. So watch them!
http://www.vintage21.com/findex.html

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

2005-11-04T17:50:00.000-06:00

Today was a very long day. It started with taking a Human Odyssey test at 8 a.m. Not fun. Then, I had to hussle to the coliseum for my weight training test. On the way, I realized that I was humming "Great Is Thy Faithfulness", and I also realized that I had been humming it for quite a while. I couldn't figure out why. I can't even remember the last time I heard that song. It's never been one of my favorite songs. It was really random that I would be humming "Great Is Thy Faithfulness." So, I started thinking about the words.

Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I hath needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

It's been stuck in my head all day, and for once I don't mind something being stuck in my head. I really need to be reminded of that. God is always faithful. Through the thick and the thin, through the good and the bad, when I am filled with His presence or I can barely feel it at all..God is always faithful. He's always giving me undeserved mercy. He's all I need. No matter what I tell myself I don't have...no matter what I think I need...God has sufficiently provided me with everything. Why do I have such a hard time just accepting this? Great is thy faithfulness... I love it when God's random.

My first pumpkin carving experience!

2005-10-31T21:29:00.000-06:00

I don't think I've ever been so proud of anything in my entire life. :oD

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T11:17:00.000-06:00

Yep, today's Halloween...and I've already eaten too much candy. But hey, I actually have an excuse today. I wonder if we'll have any trick-or-treaters. There are a few kids in our neighborhood so we probably will. How cute. I've got a pretty busy day. I'm going to carve a pumpkin in a little while...for the first time ever! I'm so excited. I even found a really cool design, but it's a surprise. I'll post a pic of my pumpkin when I finish. Tonight I'm going to a cookout for our small group. That should be fun.

I actually had a really good weekend for the first time in quite a while. Rita Springer led worship at Encounter Thursday night, which was the bomb diggity. Friday, I went to Emmaus. It was kind of cold, but well worth it. I won't be able to make it to the next Walk because it's the weekend of the Auburn/Alabama game. I'm so bummed. Why in the world would they schedule a MEN's Walk on the weekend of the biggest football game of the year!? I understand there are only certain times they can get the camp, but come on. It's that weekend every single year. At least make it a women's walk. Oh well, I'm sure it will still be "the best Walk ever." Saturday was the Ole Miss game. Winning was great...practicing in freezing weather at 6:30 wasn't so great. After the game, I came home, ate a quick lunch/supper, took a shower, and headed to Prattvegas for a bonfire birthday party! For future reference, Keith Harris does not give the easiest directions. He said to follow the glow sticks...but he didn't specify to walk. So here I am in the dark, driving down this old eroded dirt road, when I finally figure out that I'm stuck. The guys tried to put my blazer in 4-wheel drive but it's weird and wouldn't work. As if that wasn't enough, I ran out of gas because of the steep incline. When it seemed all hope was lost, Matt Hunt (my hero) came and tied my car to his jeep and pulled it backwards all the way back up the hill. It was quite an adventure. We chilled around a bonfire the rest of the night. After that, I hung out with Sam and Nick at Sam-bo's house. It was great seeing everybody. Of course, I had just seen most of them less than a week before at church. I need to get a job or something, because gas prices are awful but I can't just stop going to Prattville. There are so many awesome people up there, and they make me feel so special. I feel wanted and valued. I can't count how many hugs I got. Those Prattvillians are a hugging bunch of folks...maybe that's why I fit in so well. I love hugs! I can just be myself around them and have a good time. I just wish we got to hang out more than a few times a year. Oh well. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...but it still stinks.

I definitely needed that this weekend. It's just not been a good semester. I'm trying to push myself more. I've been putting more effort into school, even though it's torture. I'm trying to have a better attitude about things. I'm trying not to get caught up in going through the motions. I'm trying to learn when to let go and move on. I'm trying to stop relying so much on other people. Yep, I'm trying. Maybe the effort will pay off. I really hope so...

Yesss...

2005-10-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

My blog is worth $10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
How much is your blog worth?

Okay, so maybe I cheated a little bit. It originally said $0.00 :o(

Break time

2005-10-18T23:28:00.000-05:00

So I've been reading this Human Odyssey crap for the past hour, and I had to take a break. If not, then my brain's just going to overload. I seriously hate this stuff. So I decided to do a little blogging. I guess I'll just type the first things that come to my head.

I'm really tired. I didn't get out of bed until a little before noon. I tried to go to sleep during the stupid film at the HO lab, but no luck. I tried to take a nap when I got home, but once again, no luck. I really want to go to sleep now, but I need to finish reading this crap.

I went grocery shopping at the gas station tonight. I wasn't planning on getting anything besides some Coke, but I decided to load up. I need to stop eating out so much. Seriously, every single thing I eat is fast food. Subway, McDonalds, Chick-fil-a, and Momma G's is what I live off of. However, I'm not sure that the stuff I bought is any healthier. Let's see...I got potato chips, tuna fish, boiled peanuts, cheese popcorn, ice-cream, Ritz crackers(for the tuna), and Froot loops. I think that's it. Needless to say, I've been pigging out tonight.

I went to Atlanta to see Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Louie Giglio last Thursday. It was absolutely awesome. It was perfect because Chris is my favorite singer and Louie is my favorite speaker. It was kind of weird sitting between complete strangers, but it was worth it. I needed it.

I've decided that I need to stop being so passive. I've always been that way. I've been told by a lot of people that I'm "too nice". It seems like people always find ways to take advantage of me. I VERY rarely say what I want, even if it's something simple like where to eat. I'm happy when other people are happy, even if I'm not really happy...did that make any sense at all? I've always just kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to be selfish. But I need to start standing up for myself. There's a difference between being selfless and letting people run over you. I'm going to try to stop being so passive. I've just got to.

I really don't want to go back to reading.

We're going to the LSU game this weekend. We've got 2 performances of Friday night right after we get into town. We're driving back to Auburn right after the game, which really stinks because I can't sleep on a bus. I have a hard enough time sleeping in a bed. So needless to say, I'll be very tired on Sunday. But I am excited about the bus ride. Is that weird? I love long bus rides. It gives me that chance to just chill and think. Hopefully we'll win the game.

I'm ready for Christmas. Hopefully I'll get to work at the Merry-go-round again this year. It's a lot of fun, and it's good money. Everybody needs to come ride.

I really want to go to bed, so I guess I better attempt to read this stuff. Blah.

Halley's Night Out

2005-10-15T01:00:00.000-05:00

1. Dinner at Mikata- my favorite restaurant ever

2. Wandered around the mall- for some reason I was in a punk rock mood (how random?) so I bought a Fender guitar shirt and a cool hat

3. Brusters- birthday cake ice-cream...yum

4. Ms. Pac Man- coolest game ever

5. Movie- Just Like Heaven- very good, highly recommended

6. Home- going to bed so I can sleep late tomorrow!

Halley's Night Out=good time...even though I gained about ten pounds and I'm broke...well worth it.

Really long vent

2005-10-04T22:07:00.000-05:00

I've realized a lot during these last couple of months. I guess I needed to realize it, but the process definitely wasn't fun. Overall, this semester has pretty much been miserable. I'm not enjoying school at all, and I have to force myself to go to class. I just don't care anymore. I've never liked school, but I've always had motivation to do well. I doubt anyone here would be able to guess that I finished historian of my class in high school. It's just not there anymore. But school's not the biggest thing on my mind. I'm just so angry at myself. I've always tried to make sure I didn't let the circumstances in my life determine my happiness. For the most part, I've succeeded in that. But lately, I've just let everything build up to the point that I'm never happy. I know that I'm soooo blessed and I don't deserve any of it. Sure, things aren't how I would like them but could they ever be? I've always tried to stand firm in the fact that God is ALL I need. And I still know that deep down inside, but I've been focusing more on what I want. I've always struggled with being alone. It's been one of my biggest fears since I was young. And I've always gone through periods in my life where I felt completely alone. I've never understood how so many wonderful people that I really felt were there for me could come in and out of my life like they do. I can track it back to when I was five years old. My best friend moved away and I haven't seen her since. Since then, friends, youth directors, family members, and mentors have come and gone either by moving, death, circumstances we don't need to go into, and by pure choice. I think that's why I have such a hard time trusting people and laying myself out there. I know I'm going to lose them, so what's the point? Honestly, every single time I get close to someone, I lose them. Every time. And when it rains, it pours. It seems like it's all at one time. Sr. year, between August and November I lost three very important people in my life. The reasons for two didn't make the situation any easier. I can't even think about it. I felt so totally alone, and it was only by the grace of God that I made it through. That's what I tend to lose focus of. Even when I feel completely alone, I'm not. And I know that, I really do. It would just be nice to have "love with skin on" as my old preacher used to put it. I can't physically hug God. I can't verbally carry on a conversation with Him. I don't say this to discredit God or His power by any means. It's just really hard. Okay, now to what I've realized. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everything. I haven't completely depended on God as my rock in quite a while, and I guess that's because everything was going so great. I had the best summer I've ever had. It was awesome. The thing is, I was growing closer to God and learning more about it. Spiritually, I was on top of a mountain. I guess I can kind of compare it to Job. I was happy, things were going great, so I was spiritually content. But I wasn't relying on God; I wasn't humble to the fact that He is the only thing that is consistent in my life. Now, I have no choice but to acknowledge that He is all I need. I've been in one of the deepest valleys spiritually these past couple of months. I feel like I've failed God. I feel like I'm such a disappointment to Him because I'm feeling all of these things. I'm being tested, and I'm failing miserably. He's given me so much, and here I am complaining. What do I have to complain about? I've yet to find a difficult circumstance or event in my life that didn't bring me closer to God. And most of that had to do with becoming so humble that I knew that God was the ONLY thing that could bring me through. Deep down I know that this time in my life will be no different. But right now, I still feel so dry. I'm ashamed. I'm allowing my circumstances to determine my happiness. I should be happy just to be a child of God. That should be enough for me. And I'm mad at myself for not allowing it to be. I'm just praying that God will give me the strength to get through this.
Here are some lyrics that really encourage me.

"You give and take away, you give and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name." -DCB

"God wants to hear you sing when the waves are crashing round you
When the firey darts surround you, when despair is all you see
God wants to hear your voice when the wisest man has spoken
And says your circumstance is as hopeless as can be
That's when God wants to hear you sing.
He loves to hear our praise on our cheerful days
When the pleasant times outweigh the bad by far
But when suffering comes along and we still bring him songs
That is when we bless the Father's heart." -Greater Vision

That's what I want to do. I want to bless the Father's heart. It's just so hard. But I do feel a little better. Venting is nice, even if it is to a computer screen. I used to think that it damaged my witness to talk about things like this. I'm supposed to be strong...I'm supposed to be perfect...I can't fail or people will think I'm not a good disciple. You know what? All that is crap. I am weak, and any strength I do have comes only from God. I'm not perfect. Never have been, never will be. And I do fail... a lot. I know I can't do it on my own. Now I realize that sharing my struggles is more of a witness to people. The Christian life isn't supposed to be easy. But God is always there to pick me up time and time again. God, give me strength.

Warning: Extreme Randomness

2005-09-30T19:29:00.000-05:00

Yeah...I'm really bored so I'm just gonna talk about some really random thoughts.

- Okay...I absolutely love oranges. I cut them in half and squeeze every bit of juice out of them. It's my favorite snack ever, and that makes me feel good because oranges are a lot healthier than chips. While I LOVE sucking the juice out of oranges, I'm not a huge fan of orange juice. I'll drink it, but I'm not crazy about it. Maybe it's because I didn't actually squeeze the juice myself. I dunno...

- There's nothing I'd rather wear than jeans and a t-shirt. Sure, I can get dressed up when I want to, but what's the point in getting dressed up for no reason? A t-shirt might not be as flattering as a skin tight princess tee, but I for one enjoy breathing. I just like being comfortable.

- I tend to take up really strange (and random) hobbies. For example, I am proudly a fluent speaker of Ubbi Dubbi. Most people have never heard of the language...I've come across maybe 2 people I could carry on a conversation with. Subo gubo lubearn ubbi dubbi rubight nubow!

- I'm pretty OCD about some things. I have to eat my food completely proportionally. Main course, sides, dessert, drink, everything. Eating one whole thing then moving to the next is just wrong. We actually got into a theological debate about this method...it was very interesting discussing and arguing different eating habits with a table of 5 preachers. Very funny. Good times.

- I need to pay more attention in class. However, my inability to pay attention could have a huge impact on national security. I have some serious ADD, so I have to find more time consuming things to do besides doodling. Sooo, last week I actually invented a new written language. It's pretty cool if I do say so myself. After a couple of days, I was able to write it just as fast as English. I think I'm going to sell it to the government. Evidently there's only one code that military personnel haven't been able to crack, and that was some ancient Indian language. Well, my code is gonna be added to that list. I'm gonna rich...

- There are only a few things that calm me down when I'm really upset. First: ice-cream. It doesn't do the trick alone, but boy does it help. Second: Running. Very stressful amounts of physical activity help set me straight. Third: Going for a long ride. This is my most common form of stress relief. I hop in my car, roll down the windows, and turn the speakers all the way up. Blare some Mark Schultz and Kutless, and I'm feeling better. Fourth: Crying. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm a cryer. Not really in front of people, but I'm a bonified cry-baby. It's okay to cry!

- I hate tomatoes...but I love ketchup. I hate sour cream..I hate onion...but I love sour cream and onion chips.

- I can't fall asleep if it's quiet. I sleep with the tv on every night, but it can't just be on any channel. It has to be on something I actually like, even though I'm not watching it. Not sure why, but that's just the way it is.

Well, that should be enough random stuff for now. I'll update if I think of some more. Peace out.

My prayer

2005-09-27T21:48:00.000-05:00

Lord, give me a heart of compassion
Give me a heart of mercy and forgiveness
Give me a heart to love those who cause me pain
So that I may demonstrate the unfailing love You have shown me.
Lord, give me an attitude of praise
That in all things, I can give you glory
Give me an attitude of thankfulness
That I may find blessings through any and every circumstance
Lord, give me a mind of wisdom through Your word
So that I may live day to day in service to Your will
Give me a body of purity and unity with You and You alone
That I may be an example of faith to all around me
Lord, give me conviction
That I may turn from my sinful nature and walk humbly by Your side.
Give me a spirit of joy and happiness
So that I may spread it to and share it with others
Lord, give me the ability to realize that I can't save the world
Give me the ability to place the world in Your hands and not my own
Lord, give me Your presence
That I may have the strength to endure all that we face together.

Lord, take away my pride
That I may look beyond my selfishness to see Your omnipotence
Take away the distractions of this world
That I may devote my focus solely to You
Lord, take away my own desires that I hold for self-glorification
That Your desires will become my desires
And that those desires serve to glorify Your name alone

Lord, take away me and give me YOU
That I may be hidden behind Your cross now and forever.

Amen.

Grrrrrr

2005-09-19T23:27:00.000-05:00

Man, that makes me mad. I just spent 30 minutes typing a really long blog. I went to post it and I lost internet connection, which erased the entire thing. It's been a crappy couple of weeks and I felt better after typing it. But now I'm just angry and I don't feel like typing it all over again right now. So I'm going to bed or something. Night.

Barefoot Blessing

2005-09-02T23:12:00.000-05:00

I tell you what, I was about ready to go move some mountains after Encounter last night. It's always awesome, but what happened was just incredible. After singing a few songs, we watched a slideshow of photographs depicting the damage and suffering caused by Katrina. It was really humbling to realize that so many people were left with absolutely nothing. After the lesson, Matt (leader dude) announced that we were going to take up an offering, which was no surprise. But then, Matt told us about an idea he had. He took one of his shoes off and showed it to us. He explained that he had just gotten those shoes from shoes.com only a week before. He had talked to the leader of a support ministry in Texas and asked what would happen if he sent 1000 pairs of shoes to them. The man's response was, "Brother, they'd be gone in a day." So, Matt proceeded to take the other shoe off and put them in front of the alter. He didn't really even come out and ask anyone else to do anything. "Money, shoes, prayers, whatever you feel lead to give, just give it." So people started filing down the aisles of the sanctuary toward the front of the church. Then they walked back up the aisles...barefoot. I've never been too fond of wearing shoes, but I've never been so happy to be barefoot in my entire life. We ended up collecting $8,200.25 to send to Louisiana just in one night. I couldn't even begin to say how many shoes were up there. Some people even took off their shirts and put them in the stack. About 15 Bibles were also given to send. Here are a few pictures of just a few of the shoes at the alter.

I bet people riding down the street were thinking some pretty crazy thoughts when they saw hundreds of college students walking around barefoot. But maybe this will show people that this generation has a passion for God and serving others. There are so many people here in Auburn that live life day by day for the sole purpose of "having a good time." I can't count how many people I've overheard just today talking about getting drunk this weekend for the football game. People my age often get a bad rap, which I can understand to an extent. But we're here to show the world that there are so many of us that are willing to pay any price to answer the call. We're fired up and ready to go. We didn't give away the shoes off our feet for self-glorification or bragging rights. I want to share this amazing event with others to show that even the smallest offerings can bring glory to God. I just pray that whoever ends up with my shoes realizes how much God loves them. It's really cool to think that my American Eagle flip flops that I've worn so many times will end up on a stranger's feet. What a blessing! Man, what a blessing.

Not what I expected

2005-08-31T22:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, well I was looking forward to this World Lit. class, but now I'm having mixed feelings. I was excited about discussing passages from the Bible in class, but it's not really going the way I hoped for. My professor definitely isn't a Christian, which is very evident in how he goes about teaching the class. He treats the Bible as a book full of stories, and nothing more. When discussing passages such as the creation of Adam, Noah's ark, and the whole deal with Job, he says that these stories were written to teach us lessons. He completely abolishes the idea that it actually happened. Another thing that really upsets me is how my professor (and most of the people in the class) talks about God and Christianity in general. We've read Genesis, Exodus, and Job so far, which are all the in the Old Testament. The Old Testament focuses more on the wrath and power of God, rather than the loving and forgiving aspects of God like in the New Testament. One girl made a statement today in class. Laughing, she said, "After reading this, I've realized that God is really mean." Of course, my professor agreed with her. We aren't assigned any readings from the New Testament, which really disappoints me. I know that God's not mean, he's just and fair. I just wish the other people in the class could see the entire picture of who God is. He's not one extreme or the other. Yes, He does have more power than we could fathom and He has a mighty wrath, but He also shows unconditional love and forgiveness. Their views on God are so shallow and one-sided. It takes a lot to get me really upset and fired up, but after today's class, I was about ready to scream. They basically mock the Bible and everything it stands for. Even though I am having a hard time with it, I do think it's going to make me stronger in the long run. I've discussed my beliefs with non-believers before, and it was pretty easy. I didn't have to defend myself against legitimate points. My professor loves to find inconsistencies and things that don't make sense in the Bible, and I'll admit that some of his arguments are very thought provoking. It makes me examine my own beliefs, but God just reaffirms everything time and time again. I know that it's going to make me have a firmer foundation with my faith, even if I am gaining it through these circumstances. Hopefully I can use this class to stand up for the God I know and the God I serve. But I know I can't do it alone. So, with His help and your prayers, I'm gonna put on my armor and make the best out of this class, doggonit!

Back to school

2005-08-19T00:10:00.000-05:00

Well, school started back yesterday. I think it's going to be pretty rough. Two of my classes require quite a bit of reading. I'm actually looking forward to my World Lit. class (big surprise). Most of the class is centered around religious texts. As a matter of fact, our first reading is from Genesis. We'll also be reading texts from the Qur'an and texts from Chinese, Egyptian, and other various religions. I really don't know that much about other religions, so I'm glad I get the opportunity to gain that knowledge. I think it's very important, and even necessary, for someone to know about other belief systems in order to fully develop and support their own belief system. I've always been very firm in what I believe and I've discussed my faith with other Christians and non-believers, but I've never had to discuss Christianity with someone who practices a totally different religion. Gaining knowledge doesn't mean I agree with that knowledge. I think it's really going to help me grow in my faith and also make me more objective when it comes to witnessing. We'll see how the class goes.
Encounter finally started back tonight too. I've been going through withdrawals. There were soooo many people there. Every seat in the AUMC main santuary was full. Then people had to sit in the choir loft and balcony. Plus there were tons of people lining the walls. It was so awesome. I'm ready for next week already. Well, it's been a VERY long week and I have to get up early. So goodnight and God bless.

It's that time again...

2005-08-12T23:56:00.000-05:00

Yep, the summer's coming to an end and band camp has begun. It's going all right I suppose. I'm exhausted so I guess that's a sign that I've actually been working. I finally got to move in to my duplex yesterday, which wasn't easy considering we only had a couple of breaks here and there. I'm almost settled in, but I need to do some more decorating and stuff. I get a break from band camp tomorrow to go to Alicia and Mike's wedding. Anna and I have to play at the reception. Hopefully that won't be too bad. I finished Human Anatomy and Physiology with an A last week, thank goodness. I'm glad to have that over with. School starts back at Auburn in about a week. It's so crazy to think that I'm almost halfway done with college. I'm growing up faster than I can keep up with. It's kind of scary to think that I'll be heading out into the real world. I don't know exactly where I'll be and what I'll be doing five years down the road. But I know it will all work out one way or the other.
It's been a really long time since my last update. Between working and class I just haven't had time to do much of anything. I did have the privilage of speaking at Prattville FUMC last Thursday. They were having Youth Week and Scott (youth director) called and asked me to come. It was a blast! We had "fear factor" type competitions and we got to get really messy. My group even came in 2nd place. Good times, good times. Well, I have to be at the band field at 7:20 in the morning for RAT drills. I'm a RAT leader this year which is fun, but I have a hard time getting up that early. Soooo I think I'm going to head to bed. Goodnight and God bless.

Hurricane Party!

2005-07-14T21:18:00.000-05:00

While everyone else was out buying bottled water and generators, my NIVfest buddies and I chilled out. It was the most fun I've had in quite a while. First of all, Jennie and I decided that it would be an awesome time to play a good ole' prank-a-roo. Most people that know me (or who don't know me for that matter) have been snookered (or will be) by one of my devious pranks. Well, we finally let the guys (Ian and Michael) off the hook after a couple of hours. So, they proceeded to carry us outside, right into the horrendous eye of the hurricane...okay, so it was just raining...and throw us in huge puddles. Then came the ice water. It was very cold, but well worth it.

Michael, Jennie, Me, and Ian...soaking wet

Soooo after we dried off, we played skip-bo...then the power went out so we had to finish by candlelight. Fun game. Later on, Justin and Mike came over. We were still in a pranking mood, plus Ian and Michael wanted to get in on the fun. So we pulled a prank involving special effects wax and fake blood. It was set up perfectly. The other guys walked in just in time to see "the accident". I was proud of Justin. Despite the gaping wound in my hand, he remained very calm and ushered me to the door to go to the hospital. Then came the awesome part. Mike was like, "Has anybody prayed yet? I think we should pray." I had already started rubbing the wax off my hand. We got in the circle and Mike started praying. We were trying SO hard not to laugh, because it really was cool that he was praying and all...we just knew what was about to happen. He said something along the lines of "Lord, whatever method you see fit, just heal this hand." We almost lost it. He said amen and I moved the rag away...nothing there. I've never seen anyone's eyes as big as Justin's was. Mike figured it out and we all just cracked up. Justin had to sit down...he said he thought he had just witnessed a divine miracle! Don't get me wrong, I think God's fully capable of healing absolutely anything, it's just hard to heal something that's not hurt in the first place. After that, we jammed out and sang some really random songs by candlelight. It was the best hurricane party ever!

Run

2005-07-03T18:27:00.000-05:00

We watched a really cool video at Chrysalis last weekend that documented the progression of the Passion tour, which is a gigantic, totally awesome worship service geared toward teens and college students. During one segment, two guys carried a huge wooden cross and stood it up right in front of the stage. Literally hundreds of people just took off running as fast as they could and actually dove to the ground in front of the cross. It was so overwhelming to see all those people, running just to touch the cross for only one second. I was really bored at work the other day and couldn't stop seeing that image in my head. Soooo, I occupied myself by writing a little song. I've only got the chorus, but I've got the chords so I have made a little progress. Verses can come later I suppose. Anyway, here it is.

"Run"

--G---D------C
I run to the cross
-------G---D------Em
And I fall on my face
G--------D-------------------C
Bowing down before the holy lamb
----Em--------D---------C
Of God who took my place.
-------G----D--------C
And I run to your arms
------------G------D-------Em
To just be still in your embrace
G-----D-------Em-------C
Mighty, omnipotent One
C-------- D--- Em
Lord, to you I run
C-------- D---- G
Lord, to you I run.

Awesome weekend!

2005-06-27T21:50:00.000-05:00

Central Alabama Chrysalis Flight #42/ Journey #7 was a great success. I had the privilege of being an assistant table leader for the journey table, and I gave "The Prodigal" talk. I've given a lot of talks in the past, but that was definitely the hardest yet. It's easy to get up and tell people how they should live their life, like in "Christian Growth Through Study" or "Christian Action". But with this talk, I had to just lay my life and my past out in the open for everyone to see. I shared some very painful things that I've never shared with anyone, let alone almost 50 people. It was really hard, but soooo rewarding. First of all, I gave a lot of emotional baggage over to God that night. I've just kept all these feelings of guilt, resentment, anger, and pain bottled up inside. I feel like I've finally allowed God to take my past and send it where it belongs- to the bottom of the deepest ocean floor. I know that with His help, I can forgive those I haven't forgiven, including myself. I saw so many girls break down that night after my talk. They literally nailed their sins and obstacles to the cross. Knowing that so many people are moving closer to Christ makes everything I've experienced completely worth it. I firmly believe that God had a purpose for every single thing that has happened in my life. I didn't always understand it, but it all played a part in bringing me to where I am today. I know I'm not as mature in my faith as I possibly could be, but God has given me an ability to trust him through ANY circumstances. I seriously doubt that I would have this amount of faith if I hadn't experienced so many painful trials and circumstances. Because of that, I can honestly say that if I was given the chance to go back in time to change the past, I would have to decline. I'm not saying I haven't made mistakes that I regret more than anything, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's plan for my life has unfolded in HIS own mighty, omnipotent way. It would probably sound crazy to some people, but I thank God for the pain I've known because it's made His power seem that much more glorious.

I Could Sing of Your Love Forever....

2005-06-18T19:15:00.000-05:00

I've been hearing stories of what Heaven is going to be like for years and years. You got the streets of gold, saints of old, and all that great stuff. But the main thing Heaven's going to be centered around is worshipping God for all eternity. I'm not going to lie, when I was younger I didn't understand how that could be paradise. I have a pretty small attention span, so the thought of worshipping forever and ever seemed like it would get really monotonous. I was picturing a regular Sunday morning service, and to a kid that can definitely be discouraging when imagining sitting there for all eternity. The first time the true meaning of it hit me at a concert in Atlanta a couple of years ago. The David Crowder Band started things off, followed by Mercyme. Michael W. Smith set things on fire. I remember not thinking about anything but singing those songs. I didn't care what time it was; time pretty much flew by. And before long, they said goodnight and left the stage. I just kind of stood there. It felt like the concert had just started, but it had been about three hours. I was just waiting for all the bands to come back on stage...but they never did. I didn't want it to end! Then it finally hit me. That's Heaven. There won't be any sense of time. I can just worship forever and ever...and this go around, the bands won't leave the stage. Another misconception I had was that Heaven was about me. We think of Heaven as a "reward" for living a Christian life. While this is somewhat true, it's not about us. It's all about God and continuing to bring glory and honor to his name. He's calling us to do that in this life, and He's calling us to do the same all throughout eternity. It wasn't until I truly experienced pure worship that I caught a glimpse of what Heaven might be like. It's just so awesome to "come back to the heart of worship," where it's all about Jesus. Just pure, honest, worship to God. Man, it's so powerful. And the more I experience that intimate heart of worship, the more excited I become about having the privilage of doing it forever...and ever...amen.

A very comtemplative thought

2005-06-12T04:36:00.000-05:00

Well, it's 4:30 in the morning and I should probably be sleeping considering I have to leave in 3 hours, but I have this very challenging thought running through my head. It's really deep, and I've never discussed it with anyone before. I'm not sure if they would understand where I'm coming from with the idea. But I've decided to share it in the hopes of finding an answer to a very comtemplative thought. Here goes nothing. Try to keep up.

Okay...

I hate onions....and I hate sour cream....but I love sour cream and onion chips.

Isn't that mind boggling!?

Kids rock

2005-06-08T21:21:00.000-05:00

Tonight I went to visit my cousins (Ted and Gina Wilson) who live right down the road from my apartment, and I had the wonderful privilage of hanging out with their grandson and my little cousin, Nathan. He is just the cutest thing ever!

I snapped the picture with my phone; isn't technology awesome? Anyway. His parents (Molly and Rod) came to pick him up so I got to hang out with them for a while too. Plus I got a new babysitting job. I absolutely love hanging out with kids. It's just so simple. A game of hide and seek can keep them entertained for hours. I guess I enjoy it so much because we're about on the same mentality level :op . But really, kids just want to have fun. I'm really looking forward to having kids...no time soon, of course, but I can't help but be excited.

I'm so bored right now. It's 9:30 and I have absolutely nothing to do. There's a lot I should be doing, like studying for A&P or writing my talk that has to be critiqued Saturday. But I even procrastinate about procrastinating, so I guess I'll go watch some TV. It's off to work at 7:30 in the morning to clean the waterpark for an hour, teach swim lessons to a kid named Cade (he really doesn't like to cooperate so that should be fun), hit the stand to protect the wonderful people of Auburn, then head straight to my 3 1/2 hour long class. Hopefully I won't have to get too wet in the morning. It's really annoying sitting there in a wet swimsuit for that long. I'm rambling (as usual) so I'll say goodnight and God bless!

For Your Glory

2005-06-04T14:20:00.000-05:00

I've been toying around with a melody on my guitar for like, a year now, and I finally wrote some words to go with it. It's not finished, so I'll post the second verse and bridge when I get around to actually writing it.

For Your Glory

V1
I don't have much to offer
To the king of all kings
But I'm bowing down before you
And this sinner's heart is all I have to bring

So Lord, if you are willing
To use a wretch like me
I will never rest until your will is done
Lord, this is my offering.

Chorus
For your glory
I will climb the highest mountain
I will swim the deepest ocean
Go wherever you may lead

For your glory
I will pay the price to follow
And I will gladly give my life to one day see...
Your glory....

Amazing Grace

2005-06-02T21:17:00.000-05:00

I've heard all about grace; justifying grace, prevenient grace, amazing grace, and so on. And I've always been totally blown away by every type of grace. I know that it's only by grace that I'm breathing; it's only by grace that I'm saved; it's only by grace that one day I'm going to be in paradise. I know without a doubt that I'll never be able to fully understand how much grace I receive every single day because I'll never understand the unconditionalness of God's love for me. As hard as I try, my love here is conditional. My love for certain people wavers in response to events and circumstances. I will NEVER be able to comprehend why he loved me enough to send his son to die a brutal death on a tree, knowing that I would sin against him time and time again. That much grace is just not measureable. And even though I'm so amazed by his grace, I tend to become complacent with grace. Even though I don't understand his love, I know it's there. And even though I don't understand his forgiveness, I know that's still there too. I just go on living my life day to day, and I don't even remember to acknowledge the one giving me my every breath. I say that everything I do is for the glory of God and not myself, and I even pray for that before any talk I give or leading worship. But I can't help but question myself. Are people really seeing the face of God when they look into my eyes? Are my actions reflecting Christ? I know without a doubt that the answer to both of those questions is "no" quite often, and that terrifies me. I know it's not possible for me to be perfect, but I don't want to use the fact that I'm human as an excuse for sin. My biggest fear is to be viewed as a hypocrite and turn someone away from God. I've just got to remember (and stress to others) that the Christian life isn't about being perfect...it's about being forgiven.

I've sung "Amazing Grace" more times than I could ever count, but just like I tend to be complacent with actual grace, I also tend to be complacent with the song.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed...

You know, it's amazing just how powerful grace is. The song says, "How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed." Well, I think grace appears much more precious as time goes on. Because as time goes on, I sin more and more...and God's love never falters. My prayer is that I never dismiss his amazing love enough to become complacent with grace. How precious does that grace appear indeed.

Here we go

2005-06-01T23:04:00.000-05:00

Well, I've decided to start yet another blog. I just love that word...blog. My other journal site is more of just an account of what I do; I want this one to focus more on my actual thoughts and feelings. Yes, I am capable of thought when I try hard enough. So we'll just see what happens!