Mountain Top Existence
I've come to realize that I rely far too much on "mountain top" experiences to keep me on track spiritually. I've always known this and tried to prevent it, but it's really hitting home right now. I just got back from BEHOLD, which by the way was absolutely awesome (I'll post details later). Going into it, I was really excited because I knew what was coming. Over the past few months...okay few is an understatement... I've just felt really distant from God. Things have been hectic with school and everything else that goes along with being out on my own. I haven't rebelled or anything like that, and I've still gone to church, Encounter, Bible study, etc. I just felt spiritually dry. I know everyone goes through periods like this, I just get frustrated because I feel like I can't do anything about it. That's where mountain top experiences come in for me- Behold, Chrysalis, Emmaus, and concerts. I tell myself that I'll finally get it together when I go, and it usually does the trick. While these experiences are great for bringing me a "spiritual high", I don't want this state to be such an extreme. I want to feel this close to God every single day, not just for a while after a retreat. I don't want it to wear off. I don't just want a mountain top experience. I want a mountain top existence. Every moment of every day...thirsting for God and striving to bring Him glory. I get so caught up in the things of this world. I'm trying to be in it and not of it. I don't want to just put on a smile and pretend to be happy. I should truly be filled with joy simply because I'm a child of God. As big as He is and as small as I am, He still cares enough to know every hair on my head...and that's a lot of hair! Man, it just blows me away. Yet I continuously become spiritually content. "Oh, Chrysalis is coming up in a month so it'll be fine." Why wait for Chrysalis? I've got to make my own mountain tops every day and simply refuse to come down. What's stopping me? What's keeping me from feeling this "spiritual high" with every breath? Nothing but me. It's time to move little 'ole ME out of the way.
posted by Halley @ 12:04 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I don't think we can live on the Mountains in our faith...What I mean is that we are not able to handle it. In our current forms (Sinful Flesh) we just cannot take the glory of God all the time. It would kill us. Look at the disciples when Jesus is transformed right before their eyes. Look at the people of Isreal when Moses comes down. We need to experience God and He wants us to, but if we get to much we would...die. It would kill us. We just are not able to handle it. But that does not mean that we cannot live for Jesus in the valleys. In there we can get all of Him that we want. And we don't die...Again look at the disciples..They lived with Him for years! And he did miracles all the time around them.
you've heard enough Mark Lowry to know that Jesus said he came to give us abundant life, that means it's like a roller coaster. High Highs and low lows. P.S. even though I'm a couple hours away I'm still here for you.
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