Anyone still here?

Well, I've totally neglected this blog. I've been posting a little more regularly on my livejournal, but I decided it was about dadgum time to update this thing. It's been over half a year, so there's plenty to catch up on.

First of all, I no longer have the job mentioned in the previous post. It shut down and I was very sad. But now I clean toilets and everything else at Wesley. It's not the most glamorous job, but I can work whenever I want. Besides, I spend a large portion of my week there, I might as well do something productive and clean it up.

I recently finished my first senior year at Auburn! I only have one more semester of classes, then I'll intern in the spring. Still have to figure out the whole interning thing. I won't be doing marching band any longer. It was wonderful, but four years was enough. Even if I wanted to, I'm taking 18 hours and have class during band time. I'm looking forward the following: sleeping late on a Saturday, having the choice of attending games, wearing a t-shirt when it's 90 degrees instead of a 10 layer uniform, seeing the eagle fly for the 1st time, and funnel cakes/dippin dots.

After school ended, I went to the Yucatan for nine days. It was incredible.
I just copied and pasted my latest post from livejournal just to kind of encompass my most recent craziness in the Jesus area.
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Mexico was amazing. We built a house, worked on a church, and hung out with some totally awesome kids. It was very humbling. Every American should travel and experience life in another culture at some point. We're spoiled and unappreciative. It definitely changes your perspective on things.

I'll be leaving for camp tomorrow. Training was last week, and I think it went well overall. During vespers, Bob (new director) said something that really hit me hard. He talked about making the transition from "who am I" to "here am I." Wow. When I first changed my plans from nursing to ministry, I was scared. But I was excited. It finally felt right, and I had never been so certain about anything. Well, the initial excitement of such a big decision has worn off. Over the past year, I've found myself asking God if He's sure about this. I KNOW that everyone in any type of ministry position should ask "who am I". But for me, it goes beyond trying to be humble. I feel totally inadequate. I'm not great with people. And instead of making improvements as I get older, it seems like I become more terrified and paranoid each day. I get so caught up in the thought that I'm not good enough. How am I supposed to do this for the rest of my life?

After thinking about what Bob said, I've decided that it just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I don't have the best social skills. It doesn't matter if I'm not the best public speaker. It doesn't matter if I have no clue as to exactly what type of ministry God is calling me to. What I do know is that I've been called. I won't lie, I'm not always happy about it. But that's okay. While "who am I" should always be a question that I ask, I think I definitely need to focus more on "here am I".

Last night we were singing Amazing Grace at worship in the founders chapel at AUMC. We got to the line, "we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we'd first begun". And for the first time in a long time, I was content with that. I've been burnt out, and the thought of a full time career in the ministry has been more of a let down recently than something to look forward to. I'm just so annoyed with what we've turned Christianity into. It drives me crazy. My trip to the Yucatan came at the perfect time. People there loved Jesus...and it was raw. Just raw passion. It makes me excited again.

Wow, I said I was going to try to keep it short. Actually, it's still pretty short considering all that I could have written. So consider yourself lucky. In other news...

I'm seriously looking into the peace corps. I never realized exactly what it was before yesterday, and it rocks.
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LIke I said, I'll be leaving for camp today. So if you get bored or you just feel like totally making my day, you can send me mail!

Halley Power
Camp Sumatanga Lodge
3616 Sumatanga Road
Gallant, AL 35972

I'll really try to better about updating. Until next time, peace out.